The city that Job built

There are definite reasons why Satyajit Ray's Gorosthane Sabdhan is my most favorite Felu-da story. It not only revolves around the intricacies of a family tree but also the background is old Calcutta. I am a very big fan of the history of Calcutta and I am, still now, the second person in our family to have (and maintain) an extensive family tree spanning seven generations.

Arnab and I spent many an evening discussing about old Calcutta, so yesterday we trudged along to the museum inside Victoria Memorial Hall. If you want to know Calcutta, that is the first lesson. Other than the Regal history of our city, life size statues of Dalhousie, Hastings, Wellesly and the rest, Victoria's piano on which she took lessons as a little girl, cannons from the Battle of Plassey (the landmark battle from which British rule started in India) and swords of different famous rulers, including the Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb, there is the history of our city... the city that Job built.

It gives me a pleasant kind of goose bumps to think how Job Charnock, on one sultry afternoon in August on looking over the swampy grounds next to the river Hooghly, all of a sudden decided that he'll build a city there. It was as abrupt as that. "The mid-day halt of Charnock" that laid the foundation of this throbbing metropolis of today.

Walking along the displays of that section in Victoria Memorial Hall called Calcutta Chronicles, I could actually see for myself how the city grew. Just like a human being, to evolve intellectually, you first need education and a lot of exposure to the outside world. That would enable you to see where you are standing. From there comes political, social and spiritual consciousness. Then would you actually grow.

Calcutta went through the same phases. In the initial days, there was just a Kali temple and three swampy villages named Gobindopur, Sutanuti and Kolikata. After half a century, the British on being chased by the nawab of Bengal Siraj-ud-daullah built a fort next to the river Hooghly called Fort William (it is now the base of the Eastern Command of our army). When Siraj was finally defeated in the Battle of Plassey and the British East India Company transformed the merchant's weighing scale to the staff of the ruler overnight, the British started investing in Calcutta. Then grew the "white town" and the "bazaar Kolkata", roads were built and the city started expanding. Zamindars (land lords) from rural Bengal started settling in here. Calcutta still did not have the intelligentsia. Slowly and steadily the education system started growing. The University of Calcutta, Bengal Engineering College, Presidency College, along with a host of different schools all started in the 19th century. Education opened the eyes of the new generation. They saw where the society is... what utter non sense is there in the slimy rituals of a malpracticed religion. From there started the Renaissance, rebirth of Calcutta. I wonder how it was possible for so many brilliant people to be born at around the same time. Is that why we are living in a vacuum now? There was a new burst of life in every possible field we can think of. From socio-political to religious, there came a time when breaking of old laws and bringing in a breath of new life was seen in the society as a whole. Major social events were legalizing widow remarriage and introducing girls to education. In science and technology, in the field of literature and arts, everywhere there was first a consciousness and then a realization of what kind of life we are leading. Then came the urge to change and grow....to liberate India. To change to a better country.

Whatever I am today, the way I look around myself, think and behave has been possible because of all these people. The way they molded the generations that were yet to come is truly incredible. The power of Vivekananda, the patriotism of Netaji and the philosophy of Rabindranath are enough for me to understand and follow to become what I call a human being. And I am so glad that I can be proud of my roots.

Questions people ask (and the replies)

I don't really like the things people share on Facebook like chain mails. However, it is one such about which I'm writing today. That post said something like people will never cease to ask you stupid personal questions. As long as you are single, people will ask when you want to get married. Once you get married, they'll ask you about babies. If anyone gets divorced, they'll ask why that happened....that thing continues. Though I am not someone with whom people would want to mess with, I still am asked questions which I prefer to not answer and let that person know that it is very rude to ask those.

When I go visit India, the first thing what people ask is - if I have lost some weight. Even on Facebook, looking at a random picture of mine, people will ask this. Well, I was never ever anything but skinny (from around five years of age). Also, I have never really "lost weight" either. Some women ask me if I am on a diet. Why, lady, why? Why would I be on a diet? And here's the funny part, most of them are random people. Like neighbors near my in-laws house or distant relatives, who hardly ever see me. They need to be told that this is not just a "conversation topic". I'll probably reply them with a - "yeah looks like you have become much fatter too."

Angry

Next is, I think THE MOST COMMON question for married girls - "is there any good news?" That is the round about question for asking - when are you going to have a baby? To which I have thought of an answer. I actually tried this last time to some distant aunts. I replied - "yes, there are lots of good news. I got a great job, we bought a house, our cat is doing awesome. what else do you want to hear?" That makes them nervous!

For single people who are harassed with "when are you getting married?" or who at some weddings are told "you are next", my Pastor had a solution. He said that at the next funeral you attend, poke that person and say "you are next". :D :D

Then there are questions about my cats. What they eat, where they sleep, where to they go to bathroom at, how much money do I spend on them on a monthly basis. I mean yes, I understand I do spend money for feeding my pets and for their general well being and also for a pet sitter when we are away, but if you have kids, would I ask you how much money you spend on them, why you spend so much money to have a nanny and such? Also, the cats didn't choose to come stay at our house, we chose to bring them. So we must provide the best care that we can. I don't want to have a cat which is not spayed/neutered, would run out of the house and feed him on scraps like some people do.

The problem is that most people are unnecessarily nosy and they don't even have the basic intelligence to understand that being so nosy is actually very rude and stupid at the same time. It makes others dislike and avoid them. At least I feel like doing so. Conversations should not make others feel bad or insult them, even if that is done unknowingly. The person you are poking to get married probably is heartbroken after splitting with his girlfriend, the one you are asking to have a baby and commenting that couples now-a-days don't care to start a family may not be in a position to afford a baby right now, even though they desperately want one.

Think before you say something. A little thought goes a long way.

'tis the season

I have seriously thought about this...even though we all say that sunny weather is awesome, I still don't want it to be bright and sunny till eight o' clock in winter. It somehow just doesn't suit. Can you imagine looking at a well lit Christmas tree when the sun is blazing outside till late evening? How terrible! The weather outside needs to be frightful in order to make the fire to be so delightful. I had this realization during Thanksgiving when I was watching my friend carve the turkey but it still holds good for the entire winter.

It's already a week and half into December and Christmas is sneaking up real quick. Stockings for Mota, May, Peanut Butter and La would be hung from our fireplace soon, ready to be stuffed with kitty goodies, catnip toys and treats. Christmas movies on TV, shopping malls are all decorated, Salvation Army people ringing little tiny bells, reminding you to spend a little thought for those not that fortunate. That's the spirit of Christmas... that's what makes me feel so good!

Is there anyone who doesn't love Christmas movies? I mean can there be anyone who doesn't like Christmas movies? Is that even possible? Doesn't the jingling sound of bells and the thought of stockings hanging from a fireplace just make you fuzzy warm? It does to me :) The thought of going home, being with family and the thought of giving is what makes this season special to me.

Frosty with friend in our back yard

It was long back when I used to act in Christmas plays in junior school, or sing carols as part of the school choir. It's also been sixteen years since I read "The Gift of the Magi" or "A Christmas Carol", but good for me that the spirit of Christmas hasn't abandoned me. I remember when we had to give gifts to the kids at Mother Teresa's organization. Wrapping the toys with colorful paper, carefully so that the papers wouldn't tear. Coming from one of the largest schools in the world, there's no doubt why almost half of our school courtyard would be filled with gifts for the not-so-fortunate kids. When schools teach these, they automatically push students a notch up in the scale of humanity. Today I saw on TV that some little kid is donating all her birthday money for some fund raiser and schools organizing toy drives.

We have a toy drive and a food bank donation going on at work. A bake sale is coming up too next week for which I baked my first batch of forty spiral cookies :) I love to be around enthusiastic people, people who care and want to "DO" something. With our donation drives, some people are setting up boxes, some are putting flyers up. One girl was rubbing her hands in anticipatory joy of being able to bake some stuff. One person volunteered to drive to Seattle to drop off the toys...that's the kind of mentality I like. People who take actions, people who are positive. Not grumbling about weird imaginary stuff, but really caring about people who need help and offering to lend that helping hand.

PS: There are Scrooges too, but well, Scrooge changed later into a nice man. So let's hope for the best for these people too :)

K.C. Nag

Yes, yes, you have read it right. It is that person who has taken endless pains to teach mathematics to countless generation of Bengali students over the ages.

While I was waiting for Arnab to get done with his haircut, I was flipping through "Parenting" magazine. Where I found that one lady has given tips to parents on how to guide their kids through daily homework, including maths problems. It was all about raising kids (especially girls) with an interest in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) majors. The solutions made me drop my jaw! 10 minutes of homework for someone in grade one and 10 minutes more every year?? I once looked at a Mathnasium advertisement on what school kids from grade 1 to 5 are supposed to achieve at Mathematics. That also drove me crazy! It looks like we are pros at Mathematics... the reason? K.C. Nag!

In the society I grew up, if you were good at science subjects, you were automatically considered a good student. While I definitely don't agree with this, I should admit that this pressure makes students consider mathematics with respect and as a result spend a lot of time in learning and practicing that.

Even though in my school days I would not consider my math scores good (as I was prone to silly mistakes and a + and - might get interchanged in my sums, an x might lose the power of 2 at any random time) but I would say that being analytic by nature, I used to like solving arithmetic and geometry problems. Algebra looked too boring to me and I didn't ever get the hang of trigonometry after we stopped calculating heights and distances. Calculus was taught in kind of a hurry and I need to spend some time on that now to learn it thoroughly. But Geometry has never ceased to awe me. The visual clues with the challenge of finding a solution was a great experience in my early teen life.

Where K. C. Nag used to teach

K.C. Nag wrote a book called "Modern Mathematics" to which I was introduced in class (grade) 5. What did it contain? Pages and pages of problems on - profit and loss, time and work, time and distance, ratio proportion, revolution of wheels and what not! Some of these have become immortal like the famous problem of a tank with 2 or 3 three taps to fill it (each would take a different time to fill it all alone) and a hole through which water leaks. If all of these are in full function, how long would it take the tank to fill? Another funny one was if it takes 12 seconds for a clock to strike 12, how long would it take to strike 5? (Not 5 seconds). There was one about a monkey trying to climb up a slippery pole. Every second, he climbs some distance but slips down a little. How long would it take him to climb to the top? (My aunt, not at all good at these, came up with a solution of 2.5 monkeys. No one knows how she managed to turn the unit of time into a "monkey".) Even more interesting were the time and distance problems with famous calculations for time taken by a train to cross a pole or to cross a platform. Then there was ratio and proportion where water was added to milk or amalgamated metals formed out of weird proportions. Learning to measure time and calculate conversions in the metric system (it was EASY in the metric system. I find the old English style HORRIBLE.)

Through the years till the end of school, I would practice these problem solving everyday (especially for a couple hours after lunch as that was the tradition in Bengali homes). Later I opted for an additional paper of Mathematics so I had to work even harder. I wouldn't say that I realized the value then, but now when I look back I understand what this can do. It has given me a confidence that things can be solved scientifically. Made me understand that science is always true (2+2 will add up to 4, everywhere, all the time). Opened a world of numbers in front of me which is really very fascinating (like pi. Isn't that awesome?) and has sharpened my analytic skills if not anything else. It is not for nothing that people with strong background in mathematics tend to become better software developers. They think and solve... that's it! 

Cat antics

Caring for a pet is a full time job. Caring for two is well...when you forget that you even exist. They capture your existence... especially if they are cats. As they say - "dogs have owners, cats have staff". There is an endless cycle of feeding (canned and dry food separately), cleaning litter boxes, cuddling with them, playing and breaking their fights and guerrilla attacks from behind the couch or suddenly from above. You learn to sleep with one cat walking on your hair or sleep through sudden nips on your big toe. You stop fretting about brushing your black jacket before going to a fancy dinner (as they all have layers of cat hair) and definitely believe that "everything tastes better with cat hair in it".  You learn to live in their reign.

It's a wonderful (cat's) life

Kitty parents know what cat antics are. All cats have strong individuality but even then there are some idiosyncrasies common to the felines. The funniest one I think is scratching and pulling down toilet paper rolls. Someone aptly called it a kitty treadmill. I don't know how all of them found out that this particular thing in a human household can be so fantastic! I am sure they set and break kitty records on how fast they can pull a roll down. 

Hide and seek

Stringy things or feathers attached to wands are another plaything they love. My friend's furry boy and girl (Vinny and Kitty) were raving over one such "bird". Vinny being a teenager was jumping probably three feet high and showing amazing back flips! We bought the same wand for Mota and May and Mota has started hunting that "bird" now too. May would just bat at it and leave it, but Mota pounces on it like a little hunter and doesn't let go! I can spend hours and watch them at their hunting... 

Peanut Butter is a catnip fan. I mean most cats are, but PB is the GREATEST catnip fan I have seen so far. We gave him many different catnip toys - a slug shaped one, a cigar like one and a turtle-shaped one were his most favorites. He went crazy over them and chewed and played and kicked and rolled over until the catnip came out. Then he licked that and went to sleep. 

"I'll let mommy read. I better take a nap."

That's one mamma's boy :)

Sometimes, just like little babies, they are scared of random stuff. We had always thought that May is a tough girl but then, as Arnab was cleaning the garage, he had to bring our telescope inside (with the tripod and all) in the hall. God knows what May is thinking it to be, but she is so scared even to look at the three-legged monster. I admit that it is big, well HUGE compared to May, but it is after all just a telescope. It doesn't move around, nor does it make any noise like the dryer and I can never imagine that anyone ever chased May around with a huge telescope in hand!! Whatever it is, she is just plain scared. Yesterday when I came home and Mota came to greet me, May didn't. I asked Mota "where's your sister" and I heard May replying in a squeaky voice from underneath the dining table. She clearly meant, "Mom, I'm here. I can't go over there, the monster is standing there." The hungry little girl ran up to the telescope and then promptly turned back totally ignoring her food dish that Arnab was taking upstairs! Later when I was carrying her upstairs, she kept on tightly hugging me just like a human baby as we passed the telescope!

Latest score of Telescope vs. May is :

Telescope - 2

May - 0

PS: For a good read on cat antics, click here.

Second chance

A friend gifted me a flowering plant on my birthday which was two and a half months back. It was one of those bright yellow flowering pots wrapped in a bright paper and sold at super markets. I had it on my work desk. When all the flowers died, people who sit around me at work had the idea that I would throw it in the bin and so they were interested to see me snipping the dead buds and browning leaves off and watering the plant which had no flowers. I regularly kept it on a west facing window sill (on those days the Sun decided to rise in Seattle) and after coming back from the Thanksgiving weekend here's what I see.

New tiny buds getting ready to bloom.

I gave the plant a second chance and helped it to stay healthy. So it repaid me by blooming once more.

I think everyone deserves a second chance. From relationships to pets to criminals. There is nothing that you cannot do with patience and compassion. I am not saying that you need to let a criminal go scot-free. No, definitely not. Nor would keeping him in a prison without actually helping him be any good. But patiently trying to change him, bringing in him new hope and compassion would definitely do some good. Exemplary punishments are needed in cases, but we will still need to back track and see what events lead to a person bringing in hate and cruelty so that we can stop more people getting into that vicious cycle.

More and more people are losing patience nowadays. As a result, relationships are suffering. People want instant solutions to problems, but forget that in the human world things don't move that fast (and should not, either). If something doesn't work, people walk out of relationships without even thinking of a second chance. Broken homes lead to broken hearts, which is worse because most of the insecurity is faced by kids. I am not saying that people should not divorce. When things just can't be fixed or the relationship has become abusive, then definitely people have to break up. My point is, give it a second chance. If that doesn't work, then think of other solutions.

Many senior animals have been surrendered to shelters or worse still, on the road. Some get saved, while most just die. When you adopt a surrendered animal from a shelter, you are giving a second chance. It is difficult. The senior pet might not romp around the house or look cute as a button. He/she will probably have behavioral issues or would need better health care, but if you have the patience, you will have a faithful companion beside you for a long time and you'll know that at least one life is happy and content because of you.

Don't forget to give yourself second chances too. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't be too hard on yourself for occasionally missing a mark. That's ok. A little forgiveness and an encouraging smile can be magical. Try it out for yourself :)

A Bengali girl in a French kitchen

For the first 23 years of my life at a stretch, my world of food revolved around rice, fish and vegetables cooked in traditional Bengali way. We occasionally ate out and street foods played a very important role during those years. Then came the period of thriving on instant noodles and coffee and eating cheeseburgers everyday for lunch! (The only time in my life when I managed to gain some weight.) Finally after getting married I started to try my hand at cooking various kinds of food.

Learning new things from scratch is a very satisfying feeling, be it a new programming language or a new cuisine. What I believe truly is if you want to learn, there's no end of resources to learn from :) I tried to cook some archaic Bengali food, well, may not be that "archaic" in the real world but definitely to me. That boosted my confidence a lot. As I never cooked anything while still in Calcutta, I never had any idea if I was a good or bad cook. After finding that I love to cook, I started trying my hand at western cooking following some of Martha Stewart's recipes. Watching "Julie and Julia" for probably the 15th time, it dawned on me that I can try to master the art of French cooking too! In the mean time, I went wine tasting with a couple friends and started learning about pairing wine and cheese with different foods.

As I had almost no idea whatsoever with French cuisine, I started learning it very patiently, reading the recipe at first, noting down the ingredients and watching one episode of Julia Child's "The French Cook" from YouTube before getting near the dutch oven :-) Arnab gifted me a copy of "Mastering the art of French Cooking" and a dutch oven for Thanksgiving and I started off with the first baby steps towards cooking bouef bourguignon.

Choosing to cook bouef bourguignon as the first French dish was probably not a "baby step", I could have tried a soup or something simpler, but this was because the movie inspired me to take on this challenge!

Fred Meyer's did a good job of selling pre-packaged "beef for stewing" which was boneless beef already chopped into bite sized chunks. The thick cut bacon was also quite good for my purpose. Cremini mushrooms are always available and I probably emptied the box myself. Buying the wine was a little difficult as I hardly knew how to pronounce the names (I wrote all the options down on my shopping list) and finally got a young Chianti that, according to Julia Child would fit my purpose.
The thing I learned from cooking this stew is, it is not a difficult dish but extremely time consuming. Bengali dishes are far more complicated compared to this, but I don't know of anything that has a two and half to three hours cooking time (not including the preparation). Also, the only seasoning needed for this was salt and pepper. The entire flavor came from the beef being stewed in red wine and beef broth. (Well, a little thyme and a bay leaf was added.) Another great thing was butter. The pearl onions were braised in butter and the mushrooms were sauteed in some more...then they got added to the meat. So there was a LOT of butter!

As the entire thing was stewed in wine, there was a distinctive taste that I have never had in anything so far. The dish is very heavy too and just a little would keep you filled for hours. If you have a dinner roll or even buttered peas with it, it will go a long way!

So that was an "encounter of the third kind" with French cooking and the result? Arnab said he can eat this bouef bourguignon every week.

Many thanks to Julia Child for meticulously jotting down step by step details of this foreign dish for "servantless" people like me, to whoever uploaded the episodes of "The French Chef" on YouTube and also to Nora Ephron for making the movie which opened up a whole new world in front of me (and to Arnab for his encouragement, being the first one to eat the experimental cooking and for being the "Paul Child", taking pictures on his new Windows 8 phone all along!)

Give thanks

I know of many people who do not like the concept of "Mothers' Day", "Valentine's Day", etc. Agreed that those "days" have been commercialized a lot by the card companies, but I still see no harm in setting aside a day to be grateful for a loved one. Yes, it's true that it's your behavior (or relationship) over the entire span of a year that counts, but having a special day means nothing bad to the relationship either. Going by the same argument, we should be praying and thinking of God everyday, why set aside a single day for Puja or Christmas or any festival for that matter?

I didn't mean to start the post with an argument, but these are the things that came to my mind while thinking of Thanksgiving. The turkey day is coming up fast. My first Thanksgiving meal, five years back was a disaster. No one told me that there's gravy to go with the turkey so I had the turkey by itself and was thinking hard why people rave about this horribly bad tasting thing! Then there was a half cooked sweet corn which I would prefer not to think about now :) The best part of that meal was when everyone stood in a circle round the dinner table and said what they are grateful for. I later saw the same thing at my friendship partner's house (that meal there was awesome) and at a cousin's house too. Even though we are grateful for the good things around us all through the year, it is a good practice to pause and reflect on those on the day of Thanksgiving.

We generally get upset or tend to be irritated by simple things. In that way we miss out on the bright side. I know it is difficult to think of the bright side at times, but just give it some thought. If you are stuck on your way to work, it's raining and you are sure that by no means can you be present at the meeting by 9, I know it's really difficult to see the glass half full. But think - this means you have a job, you are attending a meeting means you have been trusted with some responsibilities at the job and if you are stuck in traffic, that means you have a car and are not walking in the rain! This is just a basic example. There are LOTS of stuff to be thankful for.

The most important one is that we are still alive - hale and hearty! For a roof over our heads and a family to share that house with. Unconditional love of our children and pets. Friends to laugh with and a job to sustain us. Coworkers who make the 9-5 time much fun. Time to pursue hobbies and interests, nice places to visit and enjoy... All people around the world can't even dream of some things that we take for granted. So once you realize how fortunate you are, it's time you spend some thought and actions in making the lives of others a little comfortable.

As we get ready to gather around the stuffed turkey, green bean casseroles and pecan pies, I am reminded of a little grace I used to say in nursery school right before eating lunch - "Thank you for the world so sweet, thank you for the food we eat, thank you for the birds that sing, thank you God for everything."

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Indranarayan Ghosh

It's so not like me to forget Bhoot Chaturdashi, but that is EXACTLY what I did. Facebook has already got flooded with Diwali greetings, I see on my calendar that I marked tomorrow is Kali Pujo, but the fact that it would mean today is Bhoot Chaturdashi has completely escaped me. So sad!

I was listening to Christmas Radio on Pandora, but had to pause Elvis midway through his "here comes Santa Claus" and start Lopamudra Mitra's "himer raate oi gaganer deepguli re" on YouTube. I would miss eating 14 shaak but we will make sure that 14 prodip will be lit all around our house (though I am not sure how long they will remain lit in this Seattle drizzle). 

I love lighting "akash prodeep". That's a lamp to be lit on the top of one's house to remember one's ancestors. We can't do it on the top of our roof, so we light it in a red glass bulb and hang it facing the back yard. Well, it's the thought that counts and our ancestors have anyway said প্রবাসে নিয়ম নাস্তি (probashe niyom nasti), meaning you don't have to follow all the rules when you are abroad. So be it!

As I light akash prodeep and put a pointer to my ancestors to look down and pinpoint my house (do they have Google maps?), I can't but think about Indranarayan Ghosh. So here's the toast to my ancestors of the Ghosh family!

For those who are wondering who that is, here is the synopsis.

When Lakshmansena was the king of Bengal, he had five Brahmins and Kayasthas come from North India to his kingdom. The Kayasthas were Ghosh, Bose, Mitra, Dutta, Guha who accompanied the Brahmins Bandopadhyay, Mukhopadhyay, Chattopadhyay, Gangopadhyay, (I forgot the fifth one). I think it was Someshwarghosha who came to Bengal as the first of the Ghosh-s.

Someshwar's descendants spread all over Bengal and the most important branches were Uttarrarhi (North of West Bengal), Dakshinrarhi (South of West Bengal), and Bangaja (East-Central and South Bengal). I know that my family belongs to the Dakshinrarhi Ghosh, but I am not sure how many generations were there between Someshwar and the person we can track our family from - Indranarayan Ghosh.

My roots grew from here :)

I know very little about Indranarayan Ghosh. All I know is he was a zamindar (landlord) near the later district of Hooghly but then relocated to Jessore (now in Bangladesh) because of the tyranny of Portuguese pirates on the Ganges. He was given the land in Jessore by the then Nawab of Bengal, Alibardi Khan. This was circa 1750. Indranarayan went to this village called Bidyanandakati, where there was a river called Bhairav. On the northern side of Bhairav was a place called Mangalkot, where Indranarayan had a mansion. The mansion had four blocks with a quadrangle shaped courtyard in the middle. I know that he had three sons (a trait that is visible in our family in almost every generation so far) and each son and his family owned the North, South and West blocks. The East block had the offices and guest house kind of things. We branch out from Indranarayan's eldest son's family. 

I firmly believe that I lived there in one of my earlier births. I can very well picturize myself walking through the 150 acre orchards or by the side of the lake. There were celebrations for Dolyatra (Holi) and Durga puja in the house, with Radha and Krishna being the family deities. Well, Krishna is still our family deity in Calcutta. Kali puja was celebrated in the village temple though. Didn't I walk down there with lamps amidst the faint fog of an autumn evening? Probably! 

Anyway, that's the story...tonight when Mushu's Indian buddy wakes up all my ancestors for a bash, Indranarayan should definitely be the honored chief guest of the party! I love my ancestors!! :D 

Am I really?

As I still look (and behave) like a teenager and fit into decade old clothes quite comfortably, it takes a little effort to realize that I am actually growing up (or getting wiser). These are some points that reminds this quite to my face -

1. I am ENJOYING political discussions. On those evenings of the Presidential debates, we actually were looking forward to those. Arnab and I spend a lot of time discussing these. We have different opinions in most cases but we do talk about these (and love to).

2. I am actually untying my tennis shoes before taking them off and not slipping them on and off with a high chance of breaking the heel.

3. I am keeping a tab on what I eat. No I am not trying to *lose* weight. I am trying to stay healthy. But then , I am not stuffing myself with a bag of chips. A big piece of fish is mostly what is getting in to my stomach as the main meal.

4. Opening bills before greeting cards when the mail arrives. I didn't do it yet, Arnab did. 

5. Liking "old melodies" and "old movies" more than recent ones. Now I understand why those are still called "evergreen".

6. Cleaning up clutter and finishing a big batch of cooking on the weekend is actually making me happy these days. I can't tolerate a bed not being made in the morning or a sink full of not-yet-washed dishes.

Well, I have crossed my silver landmark and am advancing towards completing my third decade. So it is natural that there'll be changes. However, here's a song which I liked to listen to as a child and now like because of the meaning as well....this makes me feel that enjoying life is much more important than just counting the years.

Un, dos, tres

Sad as it is, there are still a lot of shelters that kill animals when those places are over populated. I wonder why people don't get their pets spayed/neutered. They think it is "cruel" to spay/neuter those animals but then is it "humane" enough to have healthy baby animals killed just because the shelters are over populated? Anyway, I don't want to argue in favor of spaying/neutering, there's basically no point AGAINST that!

Eggroll

Nimbus

There are also quite a few shelters who save death row animals by taking surplus animals in from there. I personally know of some people who have offered to foster or even adopt these animals, who would have otherwise been put to death. Seattle Humane Society recently got a whole batch of teeny tiny kittens from some animal shelters in Eastern Washington. A lot of those kittens already went to their forever homes to loving families, but there are still quite a few who are either sick, underweight or very young to be up for adoption. As foster parents, we were asked if we could help. Neither Arnab nor I had any experience with young kittens. Fun to look at, they are a lot of work. Unlike Mota and May who had come to us as respectable adults, little kittens need supervision while they eat, they may not be housetrained (a lot of carpet cleaning is needed) and they have so much energy that it is very probable for them to chew up cords, get into nooks and crannies, slip out from under closed doors and stuff like that. However, we still volunteered and took three kittens in.

Tangy peeking out from under the sink

Eggroll talking to Tangy

They are around 5-6 weeks old, one still wobbles while walking but he/she (we don't know yet) lacks no energy. Eggroll, as the kitty is named, was jumping on to the floor from Arnab's knees and tried to climb up my leg this morning, chewing and clawing at my denim. Nimbus, a black and white kitty is a hearty eater and Tangy, an orange-white tabby (yes, ANOTHER orange cat) is a little shy with people but with Eggroll, she (we think it's a girl) would fight and roll around. They are splashing in their water bowl, falling backwards in their food and scattering the nuggets all around. One also wiped his paws on the wall after using the litter box :) They are fun to have in the house. Though Mota and May are not happy with "unruly little kids" in the house, as they don't have to interact with one another, we are not much bothered.

Tangy, Nimbus and Eggroll will have to stay with us until they are a little older and weigh around 2 lbs. It will be very hard for us to return them to Seattle Humane, but I am sure these cute, tiny, cuddly kitties would soon bask in lots of love and care throughout their lives in their forever homes.

The world where sense doesn't make sense

Just remembering Sukumar Ray and his immortal creations once more on his birthday. May Pagla Dashu, Hijibijbij, Kakeshwar, Ramgorurer chhana, Nera, Gomratherium.... keep on being our best childhood friends and the dialogs like from Ha-ja-ba-ra-la and Lakshmaner shaktishel keep on enriching Bengali forever.

Dreams of art and craft and a morning room :)

Daphne du Maurier's "Rebecca" is one of my all-time favorite books. Other than the main storyline, there are a lot of other things (and descriptions) that I like a lot. Say, the Happy Valley or the description of the first breakfast that Mrs. de Winter had at Manderley. Rebecca's "morning room" is my most favorite one out of that. I would dearly love to have a morning room for myself.

My room should have two big bay windows opening towards a rose garden and another one with a seat towards the kitchen garden. The windows would have light lacy curtains to let the morning light stream in. I would paint my room in a light yellow or peach color, as yellow brightens a room more than white. Peach adds a light warmth which also I like. The floor should definitely be wooden. I haven't yet decided between maple or rosewood. Either should be ok.

Now, coming to the furniture. I want a desk, like Rebecca had (with docketed pigeon holes) and drawers full of rich, white writing paper. I'll have to have a desktop and a nice lamp too. This should sit in between the two bay windows.

The center of the room should have a nice bright rug on the floor and I want the other furniture close to the walls so as to make the room not look stuffy. On the left corner of the room, just next to one bay window would be a comfortable recliner for me to work on my yarn crafts. The walls there would have shelves to keep my patterns and books related to yarns as well as stock my supplies needed for these projects. I might want to have a small rug on the floor right below the recliner.

Near the middle, but on the left would be a big table for paper crafting and jewellery making. It should have proper lighting, a big magnifying glass and shelves for supplies too. The near left corner would have a place for displaying my work and I'll have some comfortable little seats scattered there for my visitors to come sit.

Now let's see what's there on the right end corner. That would be next to the other bay window and I guess it will have a lot of natural light. So I'll set up my easel over there. Next to it would be the drying rack, the table to put my paints and brushes on, and a book case for my art books and magazines.

Coming towards the entrance, on the right hand wall would be a smaller window with a seat. That is for me to curl up with a good book and utilize the throw I recently crocheted :) Oh, did I mention I want a mug of hot cocoa?

The near right corner would be for my quilting and sewing stuff. I need a sewing machine there and a bright daylight lamp in the corner. I would also have my sewing supplies in that corner.

The walls, I would not keep them bare, but as the room would anyway be very colorful, I'll put up only a few of my own artwork. The little seats that I have scattered can be well utilized when you come to join my knitting group :) We can pull them up towards the center and can also sit on the big rug and knit/crochet warm fuzzy things this winter :)

[PS: This is all in a dream, but when I finally start my non-profit organization, I'll surely have some studio like this for myself.]

Best of Bengal

This being the Pujo season, I am thinking of Bengal quite often, though to be very honest, to me Bengal and Calcutta are kind of intermingled. I'm actually more Calcuttan than "Bengali", because I can relate more to the rainwater puddles near Deshapriya Park than to the paddy fields of Bengal. So, I would use Calcutta and Bengal interchangeably as needed.

These are a few things which are absolutely Bengali, can be called symbols of Bengal too, that I like very much!

The big debates:

Bengalis are renowned debators. We love to argue. The typical "coffee house" setting would speak of endless arguments about various topics from all over the world that has intrigued Bengalis. But those topics that even Bengalis are at a loss to determine are ones totally home grown. That's about bangal versus ghoti. That is which group has produced better people, whose food is better - that continues to which fish is better, with ilish representating the bangal (people from East Bengal) and chingri, the symbol for ghoti (people from the west). That can't keep the arch-rivals out of the argument for long. So inevitably it comes to which football team is better - Mohun Bagan or East Bengal. This is continuing for ages. Major problems arise when spouses hail from the different teams (like us) or when a supporter of one team finds him/herself surrounded by the rival supporters.

Another debate is about north and south Calcutta. The north being the older part and the one where heritage still resides, north Calcuttans say that it bears history and the richness of the place, whereas south Calcuttans would always find the old quarters back dated and time barred, the roads too narrow and proudly say that it is the south which is the hub of modernization that is so necessary in the 20th (or 21st) century.

The food:

Street food from Calcutta still comes in my most pleasant dreams, but the ones that are "signature luchi, rasogolla and mishti doi. I would also include the fine Darjeeling tea in this group. I don't know the history of mishti doi, but know that the sweet version of regular yoghurt is a speciality from Calcutta and is renowned all over the country. It probably comes second to the other great one - rasogolla. It is not for nothing that Nabin Chandra Das from Bagbazar is called "rasogolla'r Columbus". Luchi is another concoction to which bangals have to bow their heads. Luchi and rasogolla are the two foods which can compete with all the ilish recipes that bangals have produced so far! The flaky thin white balls of luchi, paired with mutton curry or the simplest cubed potato in light gravy can make any Bengali nostalgic.
food" from Calcutta are

The clothes:

The moment you dress a 21st century corporate woman in a red bordered white saree (laal paar shada saree)and make her wear the traditional red and white bangles, you bring out the essence of a Bengali girl in her! This is "the dress" of a married Bengali woman and is a trademark of traditional ceremonies. It changes the entire look.

For men, white dhuti-panjabi, especially the ones that have crinkly sleeves (the sleeves are crinkled by using a fruit) adds that special "bengali touch". The white clothes also look very nice in summer.

Related to clothes and fabric, another thing which started off with humble beginnings but are now selling for $128 at Nordstrom is kantha. This is an essence of Bengal as well, where when babies were born, they were wrapped in kantha (quilts). Those were lovingly made by the grandmoms or aunts by reusing old soft sarees. Those sarees were stitched together with some soft stuffing in between. Some artistic women didn't just stitch them together, but used to design those stitches in beautiful patterns. These are now sold as "kantha throws" in Nordstrom!! Anyway, the design is reused for sarees and other types of tops as well. This is one of my favorites too.

The celebrations:

Even if I was an unbiased third person, I would still think traditional Bengali weddings are the best! It
is colorful, absolutely gorgeous but without elderly ladies dancing on the streets. The bride's dress in red and gold is stunningly beautiful and the groom's white provides the subtlety contrast. Overall, it's as beautiful to look at as it is to feel.

Indians celebrate a lot of religious, or should I say socio-religious events. Durga puja is the one for Bengalis. The pandals (decorated tents) in which the idols are kept for five days have crossed the level of good craftsmanship and had elevated itself to be a work of art. That is beautiful to look at and sustains many families all the year round.

The creativity:

Bengali names are very creative and almost all of them have come from Sanskrit words. Unlike most of the world, Bengali names are not always derived from gods and goddesses (at least that is not the criteria in naming someone) and are very modern. People think of unique names, with Rabindranath setting the bar really high in this regard. Some names are a bit too intellectual, but still I am very proud of Bengali names, and my name too. (Well, I am still hanging on to it even with all the distorted pronunciation that I hear.)

That's the thing...

The journey from "barnaparichay" to Java

Rabindranath's poetry and songs are my favorites, my all time best ones. One of those that I like most is - বিপদে মোর রক্ষা করো (bipode more raksha koro) - guard me at the times of trouble. That which prays to God saying that make me know you during happy times so that I never doubt your presence when the world is all against me. I try to follow that. I may not be "praying to God" but I do feel grateful for my life when things go well, and when they don't, I try to remain as patient as possible.

Anyway, recently some stuff went really well which made me very happy and inspired me to grow myself by challenging my intellects even more. Encouragement can do wonders to anyone. Especially if you were not expecting them. All these make me grateful for my life and thank that person who is behind all of this. He is Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar.

Now when I am gradually evolving into the role I have always seen myself in, the dream career in a fast paced sci-tech industry, the economic independence and the confidence this entire thing imbibes in me, I need to take a look back at that day when Vidyasagar said "they [girls] are also getting educated now. Their time is also coming", the fact that he wanted to see us empowered, lacking neither in education nor in the freedom to pursue our dreams...and makes me realize that I can't thank him enough. I can't ever pay his debts.

The only thing I can do is to take myself up to that level where Vidyasagar can be proud of me, proud of the fruitfulness of his relentless battles. That girl whom he had one day taught how to write the Bengali alphabet can now automate cloud (server) behavior  with Java.

Why I write

I hated writing essays in school. Especially the ones in Bengali. It still seems to me that the expectations of the teachers were set in stone. They wanted us to write in a particular way, using flowery languages and dotting the essay with quotations. The topics were so cliché that it was hard to improvise something based on our imagination and I still don't understand the use of quotations. Were we supposed to read (and understand) all those poetries from which we excerpted the quotations? Or were they supposed to be just memorized (like we did anyway)?

Another thing was, whenever we were supposed to write about the seasons or festivals, somehow all the stuff we wrote about describing nature and all were related to villages. That was very artificial for me. It never really made any sense and I was happy when it was all over. I definitely don't miss my Bengali classes.

English literature was much better. The topics for essays looked more normal and within my grasp. I think the English teachers were better than the Bengali teachers too and grammar and spelling were of more importance than flowery language. That made a big difference.

Anyway, I still didn't like to write.

I write

Later when I was preparing for GRE and TOEFL, I liked the debate type essays where I had to make a point. I always love to argue (with points) and debatable topics just make me fluff my fur up! That's why I love blogging. I don't have to "publish" them, I can scribble, well ok, type away whatever I think without giving a hoot to what others might think if they, one sunny day stumble upon my blog. Also, here is a place to vent out my opinions without really getting into a fight. I mean, I am entitled to free speech, so why not make the most of it?

I write to voice my opinions and to give form to my feelings. Sometimes, when I feel strongly about something but can't really DO anything actively, then also I write. I try to make others see my point, to make people realize their power and take active part in things they like to do, instead of just idling away their lives. I write to encourage good deeds and criticize the wrong ones. It's a free canvas where I can dabble away with any kind of paint!!!

Now I like writing because it is on my own terms and nobody is grading me for that :)

On being Bengali

Rabindranath has said in his timeless creation "shesher kobita" - the last poem that knowledge is a diamond, but that rays that come out of it is culture. Knowledge has mass, culture has brightness. (কমল হীরের পাথরটা কে বলে বিদ্যে আর ওর থেকে যে আলো বেরোয় তাকে বলে কালচার । পাথরের আছে ভার আলোর আছে দীপ্তি । ). With Durga Puja just round the corner, Bengalis all over the world would feel a tug in their hearts and get nostalgic over the simple things that remind them of the Durga Puja at home.

Shiuli

Little white cumulus clouds floating through the clear blue sky, a cool breeze heralding autumn that blows over green paddy fields creating gentle waves, shiuli and kaash flowers blooming and through the fields in the villages would walk a throng of dhakis (drummers) beating their dhaks in the typical Bengali rhythm, the rhythm of festivity, the one that tells everyone Durga is coming from her husband's place in the Himalayas to her parents' little mud huts in Bengal. Durga is not really a goddess vanquishing the demon, for us, she is that daughter who brings her four children to visit her family once a year for five days.

Dhaaki

Mahalaya acts as the threshold for this. The people of Calcutta, for the last eighty years have been waking up at dawn on the day of Mahalaya to listen to this radio program of Mahisashuramardini - "annihilation of the buffalo demon" - where chants are read from the religious text Chandi by the famous Birendra Krishna Bhadra. I cannot describe the feeling, but the fact that it is still going strong for five generations should be enough to clarify its popularity.

Bengalis pride themselves on the culture aspect. That's the reason of my opening line. But culture is something that should shine from a person, it is something that would define us. It can't be imposed upon. I have seen many Bengalis here, who on trying to impose this "culture" on their second generation kids, drag them along to anything that is Indian, including Bollywood parties or make them grudgingly wear traditional clothes at Bengali Association events. What's the outcome? They start hating the "culture" thing and shirk away from that very concept which should have actually made them proud. One hour of speaking Bengali at home would not help, a general understanding of Bengal should be the key.

What did Rabindranath say? The first thing needed is knowledge. That's the diamond. If knowledge is absent, what would you shine with? That knowledge would come from reading and being exposed to your own roots as well as of the rest of the world. If you fear other cultures, it means you don't have enough confidence in your own. You are worried about them taking over your own. However, if your roots are strong then you would not have any fear of spreading your wings to fly off to the distant horizon. As you know that what has been imbibed in you would always be in there to enrich you.

Bengal - home

I am known to be quite an "international" person. I never go to the local Bengali Association, nor has the local Hindu temple seen me. I see no reason to gang up with the Indians simply because they and I belong to the same country. However, the tradition passed down from the Bengal Renaissance is still somewhere inside. That's what makes me try my hand at cooking and carefully noting (in English, for May and Mota's wife probably) old traditional Bengali recipes. That's the thing that makes me read Sarat Chandra's works on my PlayBook and doodle Durga's eyes on a piece of yellow post-it as I wait for my code to build.

Gifts

What is the best gift that you have received? No, it's not that cricket bat or doll's house, nor even a good book on your birthday...it's life. It's sad how we don't realize that and as a result hardly ever feel grateful for it. When we wake up each morning, we look at the clock and say "oh man, today I'll definitely miss the meeting" but we never ever say "oh wow! Another day in my life, in good health! Great!" That means apparently that meeting is of more importance than our entire existence.

Exactly so!

If we value our lives, then we would want to search for the purpose behind it. Whoever the creator is, God or the eternal pool of conciousness, whatever you'd like to believe in has created us for a purpose. The first thing is to realize that. Then you need to find the purpose and finally to follow that path. Otherwise, you'll end up spending your life watching soap operas or doing something totally worthless. Some people are creative by nature, they love to paint, write, cook. That gives them and people around them much pleasure. They are creating a better world. Some others are just hard workers. They are not artistic, probably wouldn't understand any fine thing, but they'll go out of their way to help others. If the purpose in your life is to change the world to a better place, you'll do it as much as possible. You might just do a tiny little thing at a time, but rest assured that tiny thing would bring huge changes to someone's life far off.

What would be the best gift that you can give? Well, you technically cannot "create" life, but you can make someone's life better. Can you make a new born feel welcomed? Most poor families all over the world are not well educated enough to prepare themselves for a baby either physically or financially. Can you help child survival centers that will provide care to mothers and neonates? Even in so called developed countries, many babies are born in poverty. Can you help families by sending much needed things like diapers and towels or little knitted things just to brighten up the dreary hospital room?

H2O

I received a picture from a child survival center that I support of a child drinking clean water. I have put that picture on my fridge so that every time I reach to get water I am reminded of how fortunate I am. Not everyone can walk two steps to get cool filtered drinking water. Can you give the gift of safe clean drinking water?

Can you give babies and children gifts of medicines and vaccines so that they can grow up to be strong and healthy young people? Or mentor someone in a distant land and enrich their young minds with the gift of knowledge and the importance of education?

Give the gift of a good life

How about saving some death row animal? There are thousands of kittens and puppies unnecessarily euthanized because animals shelters cannot keep them any more. If more people opt to adopt from shelters instead of "buying" show piece animals from breeders or more people came forward to foster them, these death row animals would have a normal happy life like every other pet. Can you not do something to this? A senior dog or cat with medical needs can have a perfect life with a little love and care too.

There's so much to do in this single life span. Who knows if rebirth is for true? Why waste our lives doing petty things? The stuff we value most are actually the ones without any meaning. Stop leading a clueless life. Believe in yourself. Believe that you have the power to make a difference. Stand up for those who can't speak for themselves. You would not be rewarded in money, but you'll for sure be happy.

Harvest time!

I was standing on a little undulated hill, gently sloping down towards green fields of corn. There was a pumpkin patch too. Green vines studded with different sized pumpkins, ranging from tiny round ones to big Cinderella's coach kind of ones. Those varied in color as well. Some were patchworks of green and gold, some white and some the traditional bright pumpkin-ish orange! Those fields blended into dark green forests, green hills and beyond those ranges of blue mountains emerging from the blue sky. This is not a dream...this is a scene I saw when I was going on a hay ride to pick pumpkins at a farm near our house :)

This was my first trip to a farm and I am in love with it! Fall is the best time to visit farms, when the harvest is ready for the year. The life that I have led so far in a city is so far away from the Earth, from our connection to the soil. When I was picking up the dusty pumpkins and tugging at the vines, I could feel that connection. The smell of fall in that crisp breeze from the nearby pond, ears of corns ready to be picked (and roasted. "I'll have the garlic flavored one, please"), caramel apples, the smoky smell of hot-dogs all intermingles to make me welcome the harvest season.

The added fun was the farm animals. I LOVED the mustang!!! How I'd want to have one some time :) The grey bunny was super soft and a black cat was watching the roosters in the pen. Arnab said that the cat was deciding which one to roast and which one to curry for his meals during the week! Here are some pictures from that farm...

With friends at the pumpkin patch

The farm :)

Look who's pushing the wheelbarrow!

With a mustang

Some things that just can't get better

There are some perfect moments in life. Perfect weather, perfect relaxing atmosphere, perfect vacation...like that. Sometimes on sunny Saturdays when I come downstairs in the morning and open the door to our backyard, looking out to the foliage and smelling the air, I feel it. That's a perfect thing! Most of these moments make us happy, may not be crazy happy but more in a subtle way. For me, these can't just get better..

Cornflower skies, golden sun and a cool breeze bringing a smell of the trees. It's that kind of a day today. The sudden dip of the mercury is heralding cold weather, but the skies have forgotten that summer is over. They are still without a trace of cloud (yes in Western Washington) and the leaves are changing color... it's heavenly!

Puppy kisses. Can there be anything better than a happy dog licking your face? Same about a content kitty curled up on your lap and purring when you scratch behind his ears. Seeing a happy pet is one of the most rewarding experiences as well.

Puppies

That stretch from the luggage carousel to the arrival lounge of the airport at your home town. When you know that it's a matter of a few moments and you'd see your family right there!

Waking up on a weekday as the alarm goes off and then realizing it's a holiday! One of my most favorite things is to sleep, so I am a little biased towards this one.

Sky full of stars...and waves lashing in front of you. Nothing ever can surpass this.

Compassion and mercy. Have you seen anyone cry for someone else? Anyone going out of the way to make others feel good? That is another beautiful thing.

Bonding that surpasses the differences, those that don't need verbal language to communicate. Like this Airtel commercial: 

When I experience these I say to myself, what a wonderful world!! I'm so grateful to cherish these :)

It's ok to be mean (at times)

If there is someone who spells attitude with a BIG A and the rest in bold caps, that is Happy Bunny!! I have never seen anyone coming up with passive aggressive (mostly aggressive) statements with a big, bright smile. And man, how much I want to tell those stuff to people around me...

The one on my door

My encounter with Happy Bunny was when I saw a poster of her (I think she's a girl) at Wal-Mart, years back. That poster was displayed at my office for a year and half when I worked as a research assistant in UAB. Then it came to my apartment in Redmond, and now it is stuck on the door to May's room (an appropriate place I should say).

Here are some of Happy Bunny's quotes which just brightens my day and brings a mischievous smirk on my face... (all the following pictures are from Google images).

                     











                 

Everyday I find situations (and people) to whom I can say this. Sometimes I do, at other times I can't as it would sound inappropriate. Whatever it is, I would never have enough of this bunny......
And here's my new t-shirt that says - "I did it, but I'm blaming you"!!! :D :D