I don't really like the things people share on Facebook like chain mails. However, it is one such about which I'm writing today. That post said something like people will never cease to ask you stupid personal questions. As long as you are single, people will ask when you want to get married. Once you get married, they'll ask you about babies. If anyone gets divorced, they'll ask why that happened....that thing continues. Though I am not someone with whom people would want to mess with, I still am asked questions which I prefer to not answer and let that person know that it is very rude to ask those.
When I go visit India, the first thing what people ask is - if I have lost some weight. Even on Facebook, looking at a random picture of mine, people will ask this. Well, I was never ever anything but skinny (from around five years of age). Also, I have never really "lost weight" either. Some women ask me if I am on a diet. Why, lady, why? Why would I be on a diet? And here's the funny part, most of them are random people. Like neighbors near my in-laws house or distant relatives, who hardly ever see me. They need to be told that this is not just a "conversation topic". I'll probably reply them with a - "yeah looks like you have become much fatter too."
Next is, I think THE MOST COMMON question for married girls - "is there any good news?" That is the round about question for asking - when are you going to have a baby? To which I have thought of an answer. I actually tried this last time to some distant aunts. I replied - "yes, there are lots of good news. I got a great job, we bought a house, our cat is doing awesome. what else do you want to hear?" That makes them nervous!
For single people who are harassed with "when are you getting married?" or who at some weddings are told "you are next", my Pastor had a solution. He said that at the next funeral you attend, poke that person and say "you are next". :D :D
Then there are questions about my cats. What they eat, where they sleep, where to they go to bathroom at, how much money do I spend on them on a monthly basis. I mean yes, I understand I do spend money for feeding my pets and for their general well being and also for a pet sitter when we are away, but if you have kids, would I ask you how much money you spend on them, why you spend so much money to have a nanny and such? Also, the cats didn't choose to come stay at our house, we chose to bring them. So we must provide the best care that we can. I don't want to have a cat which is not spayed/neutered, would run out of the house and feed him on scraps like some people do.
The problem is that most people are unnecessarily nosy and they don't even have the basic intelligence to understand that being so nosy is actually very rude and stupid at the same time. It makes others dislike and avoid them. At least I feel like doing so. Conversations should not make others feel bad or insult them, even if that is done unknowingly. The person you are poking to get married probably is heartbroken after splitting with his girlfriend, the one you are asking to have a baby and commenting that couples now-a-days don't care to start a family may not be in a position to afford a baby right now, even though they desperately want one.
Think before you say something. A little thought goes a long way.
When I go visit India, the first thing what people ask is - if I have lost some weight. Even on Facebook, looking at a random picture of mine, people will ask this. Well, I was never ever anything but skinny (from around five years of age). Also, I have never really "lost weight" either. Some women ask me if I am on a diet. Why, lady, why? Why would I be on a diet? And here's the funny part, most of them are random people. Like neighbors near my in-laws house or distant relatives, who hardly ever see me. They need to be told that this is not just a "conversation topic". I'll probably reply them with a - "yeah looks like you have become much fatter too."
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| Angry |
For single people who are harassed with "when are you getting married?" or who at some weddings are told "you are next", my Pastor had a solution. He said that at the next funeral you attend, poke that person and say "you are next". :D :D
Then there are questions about my cats. What they eat, where they sleep, where to they go to bathroom at, how much money do I spend on them on a monthly basis. I mean yes, I understand I do spend money for feeding my pets and for their general well being and also for a pet sitter when we are away, but if you have kids, would I ask you how much money you spend on them, why you spend so much money to have a nanny and such? Also, the cats didn't choose to come stay at our house, we chose to bring them. So we must provide the best care that we can. I don't want to have a cat which is not spayed/neutered, would run out of the house and feed him on scraps like some people do.
The problem is that most people are unnecessarily nosy and they don't even have the basic intelligence to understand that being so nosy is actually very rude and stupid at the same time. It makes others dislike and avoid them. At least I feel like doing so. Conversations should not make others feel bad or insult them, even if that is done unknowingly. The person you are poking to get married probably is heartbroken after splitting with his girlfriend, the one you are asking to have a baby and commenting that couples now-a-days don't care to start a family may not be in a position to afford a baby right now, even though they desperately want one.
Think before you say something. A little thought goes a long way.
6 comments:
do not ever think that people who r asking u these questions actually want to know the answer... it is just timepass for them..
instead of being rude, u can actually giv sum bland answers, where conversation ends.. eg. when r u planning for a baby? lets c.... how much u spend on cats? it varies.. etc. etc.
rudeness will not teach ny1 ny lesson..they r like that by nature.
Bland replies would not necessarily make them change, specific ones would. BTW, tomra ajkal erokom sms language keno lekho?
short e likhte bhalolage...
A lot of people don't realise that these questions are intrusive, or the concept of it being "none of their business"...specially the questions about marriage, kids etc. I dislike asking personal questions for these very reasons that you mention in the last para: one never knows what painful memory/thought one might touch..I have heard of couples with infertility issues who are asked about kids and that must be awful..
the silliest part is that most of these questions come from distant people who have nothing to do with your life anyway.. i have rarely faced such things from my immediate uncles and aunts etc..
BTW, I like to hear about your cats :). Hope that's ok
Tua, yes it's ok to inquire about my cats :)
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