Monday, August 03, 2015

On being a tomboy

Jo immediately sat up, put her hands in her pockets, and began to whistle.
"Don't, Jo. It's so boyish."
"That's why I do it."
"I detest rude, unladylike girls!"
"I hate affected, niminy-piminy chits!"

Many people are familiar with Jo's boyish nature, how she hated girlish stuff, getting dressed in laces and ribbons and how comfortable she was with boys' games, rowing boats and just being a rough and tumble sort of person. You may also be familiar with the little girl Scout. Clad in overalls, with cropped hair, she was seen with her big brother Jem and her friend Dill playing weird boyish games. They are well beloved characters from fiction and they did have quite some adventures, and I have a soft corner for those girls with scratches on their knees and muddy after a rough game with the boys. It is fun to be a tomboy.

I was looking at myself now. What am I wearing? Straight leg jeans that fit me comfortably, a shirt layered over a t-shirt, Converse shoes and no makeup. My hair is in its signature pixie style. I know pixie style can still make many women look beautifully feminine but I never spared a thought about it, because I know whatever I might try, I won't look feminine. And if I do (with loads of makeup and jewelry) I just don't feel like myself. I feel like I am trapped in someone else's body.

Psychologists say different things. Some say that if girls have been exposed to an environment where "being girly" is considered a weak thing, then in order to make up for that they become boyish. I have never felt that in life and most people already know that I am a feminist. I just think that some girls are just too comfortable in their own skins and they don't need to live up to any benchmark of "being a girl". Some psychologists say that tomboys grow up to be strong and confident people. I can totally see that. Tomboys are anyway swimming against the tide from a very young age, so they don't ever need the validation of society for anything they do. If they did not have a strong personality to begin with, they would be molded into princessy girls long back. As they look at boys as buddies and are hanging out with them at most times, they are never really on the look out to be special "girl friends". Tomboys have many more things to worry about than which boy paid attention to which girl. They are into sports and games and they love technical projects. Of course this is a generalization. You don't need to be a tomboy to do any of these, but I have seen them in myself and in a couple of my friends who were pretty boyish.


Another big thing is tomboys couldn't care less on how they look. That is why they get to wear clothes and shoes that are comfortable. My Converse sneakers don't look half as nice as high heeled pumps but they make me walk much more easily without the constant fear of hurting my hamstrings. Same about makeup and elaborate hair dos. Yes I do love my hair, but unless the top stands up like a rooster when I get ready in the morning, I don't have to use a flat iron.

Personally, I care nothing about what society or psychologists say. I like wearing my short hair, I have always been a fan of those cricketers who play better rather than those who look better, I find conversations with guys more interesting than girlish chit-chat and I like to look just the way I am. It is much more comfortable when you can be yourself. It takes a lot of pressure out of your system and makes you confident.

There are some downsides, of course when you are swimming against the current, you are bound to face difficulties. One is, when I wanted to play cricket in college I found that I run very slow compared to the boys. We can't overtake Nature. And two, you might be a misfit among girls because most of them won't share your interests. Like, I never found any girl who would join me to play cricket, neither did I find anyone with an interest in playing Need for Speed. Automatically, I had to spend more time with guys. Even now, I don't like to spend my lunch time talking about why someone's husband wants her to cook food everyday or what someone's mom-in-law told her over Skype. I'd much rather talk about science fiction and guns and scale walls. (Yes I did scale walls on my way to lunch with my work buddies.)

Life is much more interesting when you do things that you want to do instead of being told to. I found immense joy in playing with electrical circuits and mechanical structures, looking at the innards of an old clock can be as interesting as having a spa party. Life is full of fun and interesting stuff and assigning a gender to activities take that fun off. I'll end with what a friend of mine said about me. He said that when I was getting created, the angels went up to God at the last moment and said, "there's no Y-chromosome, we have to use an X"... and hence I was born in the shape of a girl.

Never have I regretted being born as a girl and I feel that women are far more superior than men, but being a tomboy can be really fun and who says you need to grow out of it into a fine lady? Just be yourself!