Working moms

There are some debates which are never-ending. Say for example, if there is God, science versus religion, boys versus girls...and one of this list is working moms versus stay-at-home moms. Both try to prove that her job is tougher, both try to argue that the role she is playing is the most important in her baby's life. As I already mentioned that this debate is never ending, I don't suppose I can make it end, but I will try to add my views in here.

I don't have anything against stay-at-home moms in particular (they have never done anything to me!) but there are a few things that stay-at-home moms say which bothers me, not as a mom but as a working professional in general.

1. I see a trend of stay-at-home moms saying that "looking after kids is a full time job" and that "oh if our services were to be paid for, our salary would have been $100,000". Why is this need for justification? Why do they have to prove their worth in this way? If they already think that their services are invaluable, leave it at that! Also, what makes stay-at-home-moms think that their working counterparts don't have to do all these? I can't but share this picture here.

From Google images

2. When it comes to "understanding", many women say - yes we understand, some moms are forced to work in this economy, what can they do? Hello, not every woman is "forced" to work. Doesn't it occur to these ladies that some of us might just love to work? That we studied hard and worked hard to bring us up to respectable high paying jobs and that work satisfaction is not really such a negligible thing in a woman's life. There is a world of her own, other than her husband and kids and household chores and people outside of her family who respect and encourage the problem solver, the innovative thinker, the technical expert or the people manager in her.

3. Don't make working moms feel bad. Many stay-at-home moms have said, "I bring up my own kids" or "how can you send your tiny baby to the day care?" These are so very mean and so very rude. Why do you have to make working women feel bad? As if they are doing a horrible thing by sending their kids to daycare. If you can, take care of your friend's kids, if not, keep shut.

Here are some things I have thought about that only working moms can teach their kids:

1. Mom works because everyone needs to work to support themselves and not be dependent on others. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of honest labor.

2. Everyone has a dream, a target and a purpose of life. Mom has too. She might not work to keep food on the table. Maybe Dad can provide for all, but she works because she loves to and because she always wanted to become (insert any profession here) from when she was a kid.

3. If Mom is late from work, Dad will cook dinner. If Mom can't pick you up from daycare, Dad will. The gender gap will diminish once there is no "his chores" and "her chores" in the house. A family is a team. Everyone picks up whatever chores they can help with (like a self managing scrum team in software development). 

4. A second income. Maybe Mom earns more than Dad or may be not. But the best thing a two-income family does to the kids is offer them security. Especially in this economy, a two income family will not have to worry about basic necessities (and in many cases much more than that) even if one parent is temporarily not working.

5. Respecting your Mom (and women in general). A family where kids know that Mom is not just a person cooking, cleaning, nagging and serving everyone in general learns to respect women later as adults. A boy who knows "mom needs to rest after a hard day's work" or "mom has her deadlines to meet, let's not disturb her now" will always respect his wife later in life. 

There are plenty of examples of working moms all over the world from Marie Curie to Marissa Mayer - women who have great academic degrees, top jobs and who actually have pushed the human race a few notches up. The thing some people say about working women can't bring up kids right, I wonder if they realize Mme. Curie brought up her daughter Irene to be a Nobel Laureate herself. You want your kids to go beyond that?

Photo courtesy: Ayan Goswami :)