Thursday, June 11, 2015

Let’s break the gender stereotypes

Women’s empowerment is a topic very close to my heart so even though this is not the month of March, I still chose this topic because this will give me an opportunity to persuade people and bring forward some ideas.

What is gender stereotyping and what is the basis of it?

Simply put, gender stereotyping is the generalization of expected behavior based on one’s gender by letting your brain make a “snap judgment” based on immediately visible characteristics. The idea of “traditional roles” is a debatable thing but that plays a huge part in the human society where women are assumed to take care of home, childcare and family and men are depicted as workers and wage earners. Some people believe that there is a biological reason behind traditional roles. With men, the stronger of the two taking up the role of the protector and women, with maternal instincts being the nurturer.

What causes this?

Human society is a funny place. We try to make people fit in existing buckets. From the time we make a baby boy wear an onesie saying “smart as daddy” and give a baby girl an onesie saying “pretty as mommy” we are actually starting them on the road of gender stereotyping by telling them what they should try to become. Same thing continues with pink and glittery princess stuff for girls and monster trucks, Legos and science experiment kits for boys. Discouragement comes from the family too. When Debbie Sterling, the founder of GoldieBlox told her mom that she wanted to become an engineer, her mom said, “ewww…why?” There is also a belief that smart girls can’t catch good husbands. Society would be more comfortable around you if you follow traditional roles.

A lack of role models also contributes to this factor. Without someone to look up to, it becomes even more difficult for young people to confidently choose an unconventional profession.


Then when does it get bad?

It gets bad when the snap judgment you allowed your brain to make becomes a bias. “Assumptions” are the killer. These assumptions lead to notions that men are better at math, men are more technical, and women are softer by nature. If you don’t fit into these descriptions, there is a high chance of people judging you. These cause unpleasant situations at home and also at workplaces. When people give up their uniqueness and lose their potentials just to fit in to the society, we actually lose talents. Have you ever wondered what would have happened to the twice Nobel Prize winner if Dr. Curie decided to give up Physics to look after her daughters? She would end up frustrated and the world would have lost a talented scientist.

What are the effects?

The first example I will bring up is the women at work one. As women are supposed to have a more “domestic” inclination, there are a huge number of women who drop out from the work force after they have kids. Most of them say that it is by choice. While I appreciate the fact that they are making their own choices I still wonder if it is truly her choice. Let’s see some facts that can affect this decision –
She might take this decision based off pre-conceived ideas that she is the nurturer and being a mother is the sole purpose of being born as a woman.
She possibly gets paid much less than that of her husband.
She might have a workplace that is not very flexible in accommodating many needs a new mother has. Including flexible hours, part time work, a mother’s room, etc.
Her husband/partner may not be very supportive. Maybe he has preconceived ideas that he needs to be the wage earner and she can just be the dependent being. Or he never helps with the household chores. She can’t manage both and of course she can’t give up the baby, so she gives up her job.
When there is a clash between the spouses’ jobs, in most cases the wife gives up her career. I know many girls who had jobs in India, but after getting married to men who are settled in the US, they gave up their jobs and came here to become stay at home wives.

How can we fix this?
First realize that we are all biased. Yes, I am too. I don’t think I can paint a baby boy’s nursery in pink. Even though, I must give you this piece of information that originally pink was for boys and blue for girls. Red is supposed to be a very masculine color as it depicts war, and pink being a watered down shade of it, was meant for boys. Blue, on the other hand is Mother Mary’s color. So it was for girls. How they got swapped, I don’t know!

Think before you say. Casual remarks like – “women are bad drivers” or “don’t run like a girl” can be extremely hurtful too.

The less we can judge, the better. In most cases, we don’t have enough information to judge someone with. Just because I didn’t take my husband’s last name doesn’t make me less devoted to the family. If a girl wears a lot of makeup, don’t assume that she hates her looks; she might just try that out of fun. If a woman doesn’t want to have kids, it doesn’t make her a selfish being. It is ok to let people be.

Encourage people to actually be themselves. It is ok for a boy to not like Call of Duty and it is totally normal for a girl to be a geek. That does not make them weird. It just makes them special.

This world is such a nice place because of the variety. I would hate it to become dull and mundane. Let’s cherish our uniqueness and let’s all be happy.


[My 9th speech for Toastmasters - 06/11/15]

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