Healing...

There was a time in my teenage years when we had things called auto-books. We would give those to our friends to fill out and they would write down their favorite colors, quotations and definitions of what is love and what is friendship. They would also write down their thoughts about us. I still have kept those old auto-books because it feels funny how teenagers would try to define what love or friendship is about.

I have wondered about both these things and up to the point in life where I am at, I still don't know what these are. People sometimes say that friends have to have some similarities, others say that opposites attract. So it is difficult to fit everything in the same formula. I think having a close friend who is my carbon copy would not help me much. It will be like looking at myself in the mirror. What is more exciting is having someone who is different. Rather, I should say there is an optimal limit in the balance of similarities and dissimilarities which makes a relationship "just right". And who could be this soul mate? Any random person. Sometimes they pop out from the most unlikely places. Believe me, this person doesn't have to be your friend from kindergarten. Age, race, gender, language, religion, background of how you are brought up, nothing matters! There are some universal human languages that is all is needed.

Source: Pinterest

I realized this after coming to the US when I found out that the people I was hanging out with have completely different backgrounds and I cherished that difference because I found out that it makes them very special. The things that truly matter go above and beyond any regional boundary - "there's one Moon and one golden Sun, and a smile means friendship to everyone". A smile, a hug, a quick handwritten note mean the same to everyone in every culture. Recently, I realized once again that the differences are superficial. The undercurrent of any human relationship is common to all humans. I also figured out that in life as we will have tough times on one end, people to support us will also come from random places to help us go through it. Sometimes there is this idea that if you are away from home it will be very difficult when you are in trouble. I used to think so too but now I know that is not the case. A support group doesn't have to consist of your family. Like it is said that when you are in trouble you get to see the true colors of people around you. I saw how warm seemingly aloof people can be. Simple texts can mean so much when you are down. You can actually feel the effort someone else is putting in just to make you feel good. Sometimes no words need to be spoken. Just being there, being physically present in front of you, listening to you rant is the best thing someone can do to you. When someone you know for barely a little over a year lends you a shoulder to cry on and holds you tight when you cry is the best therapy you will ever need. 

I am still sad. It will take me a while to get over what I experienced this week. But I am confident now that when I am surrounded by positive people in a loving environment, that healing process can be miraculous.