Husbands of free willed women

Spouses...

People have different expectations from their spouses. Some go for the look (especially in wives) or for her capacity in cooking, cleaning, rearing children. Some girls want rich husbands which would provide them with a comfy life and a social status all in one go, without them have to do anything. Some people want to see a friend in their spouses, some say that love is the most important thing....

Once upon a time, I used to think that love is the life changing thing, but now I don't. I have seen quite a few friends getting married to the guy that their parents chose and I see them as normal and happy as everyone else. So I change a bit and say - love is needed in the course of the relationship, but it's not needed to start off one. What is needed is patience, compassion and understanding... and a mentality to NOT try to dominate the other one. That comes with mutual respect.

That's what I'll talk about today. About the husbands of "emancipated women", the men who did not have a bloated "male ego". 

People who think of their spouses as their equals are much less likely to have these ego issues. By "equal" I don't mean carbon copies, but equally adept in doing things on their own. That includes the wife having a successful career (read, a better, higher paying position) than the husband or the husband looking after the kids and preparing family dinners. The rest comes where both spouses act as team mates. The family depends on both, so why should it be only one person's responsibility to make sure that everything is ok? If one person is cooking dinner, the other can definitely clean the room or fold the clothes. If one is coming late from work, the other can get dinner ready (yes, the husband can, too). Also, there is a great satisfaction in doing things together - be it grocery shopping for everyday food at Costco, walking the dog, breaking up dog-cat or cat-cat fights or paying for the home mortgage....

Here is the husband of one free willed woman :)

If we can ever get to talk to all the husbands of free willed women, women leading movements, women who have successful careers, those who have brought in break through, I assume the common point would be that these husbands respected their wives as human beings and they were proud of these women, they cherished their wives.

Pierre Curie refused to be nominated for Nobel Prize until Madame Curie was mentioned as his partner there. Kadambini Ganguly, the first woman physician of the British Empire (wiki link here) had her husband Dwarakanath Ganguly back her up, fight for her and support her. I remember an incident in this context. Even though I am not comparing a Mrs. World competitor to any of these above mentioned women, but I remember watching a Mrs. World competition where this contestant was asked what she would do if her family didn't support her. She was a little bewildered at first, not sure what to say. Then she said her prepared speech of how she would try to win over her family or explain to them or something like that. She was chosen the runners up and the moment her name was announced, we saw her husband standing up from the gallery and cheering as if he has won the greatest award in human history! Any wonder why the lady was fumbling for an answer? 

Husbands of free willed women don't try to cage their wives up. They love the fact that their wives have opinions, they think of solutions and they speak up. Those husbands can discuss problems with their wives, financial issues, household stuff or even discuss the pros and cons of using Java over C#. They may play different roles in the family but the roles have been decided on what they like to do. They are not "expected to" do something just because the society wants. 

I assume that boys who grew up in families where the mother was respected by the father and the sister was taught to set and reach her goals in life always grow up to be strong and bold men who are so confident in themselves that they don't need to strap down a woman and torment her to show his strength. 

They say that behind every successful man there is a woman, so why can't there be a man behind every successful woman?

Note: A husband can be a best friend, but more than that he needs to be the person with whom you can be what you had always wanted to!