Sunday, January 17, 2016

Re-living my childhood


Having kids is a tough thing. It sure has a lot of enjoyment and fun but that comes with a lot of responsibility too. Having a niece is just getting the fun part without the responsibility. You are not allowed to spoil your kids, but spoiling your niece is totally permissible. It is true that Bhollu does remind me that now I am a grown up ("Tumi to boro") especially while asking for favors like a horse ride or a bottle of bubbles, but she also reminds me that now I am free to do all the crazy childish things with her that I didn't know I was missing all these years.

Coming home to Calcutta now has an added fun of being with her. Her funny antics of dressing up as Goddess Lakshmi and blessing us or using Lego blocks to build an idol of Lakshmi (she gets very angry if I make fun of Lakshmi or the goddess's special Owl - I told her that the owl looks like the snowman Olaf) are crazy but it shows me things from her viewpoint. Who said that Lego blocks are supposed to create engineering marvels only? With her I can go over reading a word book and teach her the difference between "this" "that" "these" and "those",  I can draw using sidewalk chalk and play all sorts of funny games. True, she does throw tantrums at times, but as I treat kids like adults and she being quite a sensible kid, it is quite easy for me to explain things to her. 

She goes to the same school as I and gets on the same school bus. She goes to our art school as well to the same art teacher and it is quite a sea change for me to realize that now I am the escort to the school bus stop or to the art school and not the student any more. When my art tutor told Bhollu, "ask your aunt to choose a drawing for you" I was shocked!! At 31, I should not be so shocked, many of my class mates have kids older than Bhollu but as I have been the "baby of the family" for more than a quarter century, this realization takes time to seep in. 

It is fun to relive my childhood in this way - to read out to her, to teach her new things (sometimes at the dismay of my sister, like when I taught her how to make a face in a roti), to ride a horse or run down a hill side with her. It feels great to be the cool aunt because I let her touch street dogs when the other elders yelled "don't touch it will bite you" and I let her play Temple Run on my Android tablet when I was not at home. My sister saw that and asked my aunt, "why did Ria leave her tab with her when she is not at home?" To which Bhollu replied, "Because Mimi loves me."



The best part is to listen to her talk - about her friends, her experiences in swimming at a pool in Goa, her ideas of the mythological characters and her trials and tribulations, like not allowed to sing a newly learned song in front of the tiger at the zoo. Well, to adults that might not be a big thing, but for a five year old, being denied a chance to sing to a real tiger can be a direct insult. Perspectives do matter. She also has the capacity to teach what is right. In India, where "please" and "thank you" are rarely ever mentioned, she has made it a habit to thank all the drivers on our trip. When I was asking leave of my family before going to the airport, she made sure that I respectfully say goodbye to my grandma's nurse. 

A super extrovert who would do her rounds at restaurants and go talk to people at all the tables, a bouncy little girl with a sharp mind she has breathed new life to our house. It pleases me to the utmost so see her run up and down the stairs in our ancestral house where she is the fifth generation growing up. I haven't seen me grow up, but I can completely see my crazy self in her.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

It was a treat reading ur blog

bhut said...

Awsome pret... i second arijit da... its a treat indeed..
and
a full blog on bhollu !! she would have been overwhelmed but bechara realise i korbe na.. still i'll read out to her
u missed out on the genetic similarities... discomfort with "chupsono"balloon, same sleeping and reading styles, love for animals... never ending meal-times etc.