Rabindranath was a person quite difficult to understand. He was more a philosopher than a poet or a social reformer. However, being a human, he too had some shortcomings. Like, we don't know why he married his daughters off at such early ages and that too by paying a huge dowry which he could barely afford. We don't know what made him not encourage his older sister Swarnakumari in her writings. But as he is not here to defend himself there is no point in making these into huge issues. He will be remembered by his contribution to the Bengal Renaissance, as one of the brightest jewels in the crown of Bengal. Without him, we would not have anything to hold on to during our difficult times. His songs and poems have given solace to Bengalis far and wide through all the dark days.
One of the things that bother me a lot is the repeated discussions of Rabindranath's relationship with his sister-in-law (elder brother Jyotirindranath's wife) Kadambari Devi. I have no idea what these two people have done to intrigue the busybodies of Bengal throughout the ages. Maybe the main reason being, even the most progressive people today (rather the ones who claim to be "progressive") cannot digest the fact that a man and a woman can be friends. The relationship between a newly married bride and her younger brothers and sisters-in-law in the Bengali family is a very sweet one. Especially in the old days when the age difference between spouses used to be more than ten years, husbands were hardly in the same intellectual level as their wives to be friends. Those young girls actually were brought up at their in-laws. They of course grew closer with the younger siblings of the husbands who had a narrower age gap with the young wives. The relationship of Rabindranath and Kadambari evolved thus. She was two years older than Rabindranath and as Satyajit Ray (who actually knew Rabindranath) puts it "she was his best friend and severest critic". Why is that so difficult to understand? And what is the need of romanticizing such a relationship?
Did they love one another? Of course they did. I assume it is a basic human tendency to love your near ones, especially your friends. We also have to remember that in the Tagore family children were not looked after by their mothers. They had maids and later men servants to take care of them. Probably the main intent was "plain living and high thinking" but that led to young kids feeling quite neglected. Rabindranath, being the fourteenth child of his parents hardly ever got a chance to be close to his mother. Kadambari, as a young lonely bride used to spend a lot of time with this young boy and it was from her that Rabindranath first experienced the tender love that only a woman can show. But to twist that into a romantic relationship and worse still, to encash that is what makes me very angry. I don't know what possessed me to watch the Bengali movie Kadambari. Apart from it being a very bad movie from a cinematic performance (the scene transitions were very choppy and the story didn't much progress well), there were huge factual mistakes (they did not wear such colorful clothes, neither that much jewelry, Brahmo weddings were shown wrong, the makeup was horrible) and it is obvious that either the director did not care to research or he intentionally commercialized the facts. I am yet to figure out why they showed Jnanadanandini like an evil queen. She was a remarkable lady who was probably a century or more advanced than her times. Even if she did have some human shortcomings, to show only that and ignore her contribution to Bengal's culture is not just mean but very offensive. As a director or author you have a responsibility to mould your readers and viewers. That lecherous man Ranjan Bandopadhyay has created some weird letters and have called them Kadambari's suicide note. History tells us that the actual suicide note was destroyed by the Tagore family and of course its transcript was never available. Who has given these people the right to defame those who are the pride of our culture? The fact that these people are not present to defend themselves doesn't make it not a crime.
The Tagore family has been the cradle of the Bengal Renaissance. The women of this family have contributed immensely for the betterment of Bengali girls for centuries. We should be grateful to them and showcase them in the best possible way as we should be proud of them. People who have a tendency to look at everything through jaundiced eyes should choose other topics to scandalize on and leave the Tagores to researchers, educationalists and educated people to read, understand and find inspiration from.
One of the things that bother me a lot is the repeated discussions of Rabindranath's relationship with his sister-in-law (elder brother Jyotirindranath's wife) Kadambari Devi. I have no idea what these two people have done to intrigue the busybodies of Bengal throughout the ages. Maybe the main reason being, even the most progressive people today (rather the ones who claim to be "progressive") cannot digest the fact that a man and a woman can be friends. The relationship between a newly married bride and her younger brothers and sisters-in-law in the Bengali family is a very sweet one. Especially in the old days when the age difference between spouses used to be more than ten years, husbands were hardly in the same intellectual level as their wives to be friends. Those young girls actually were brought up at their in-laws. They of course grew closer with the younger siblings of the husbands who had a narrower age gap with the young wives. The relationship of Rabindranath and Kadambari evolved thus. She was two years older than Rabindranath and as Satyajit Ray (who actually knew Rabindranath) puts it "she was his best friend and severest critic". Why is that so difficult to understand? And what is the need of romanticizing such a relationship?
Did they love one another? Of course they did. I assume it is a basic human tendency to love your near ones, especially your friends. We also have to remember that in the Tagore family children were not looked after by their mothers. They had maids and later men servants to take care of them. Probably the main intent was "plain living and high thinking" but that led to young kids feeling quite neglected. Rabindranath, being the fourteenth child of his parents hardly ever got a chance to be close to his mother. Kadambari, as a young lonely bride used to spend a lot of time with this young boy and it was from her that Rabindranath first experienced the tender love that only a woman can show. But to twist that into a romantic relationship and worse still, to encash that is what makes me very angry. I don't know what possessed me to watch the Bengali movie Kadambari. Apart from it being a very bad movie from a cinematic performance (the scene transitions were very choppy and the story didn't much progress well), there were huge factual mistakes (they did not wear such colorful clothes, neither that much jewelry, Brahmo weddings were shown wrong, the makeup was horrible) and it is obvious that either the director did not care to research or he intentionally commercialized the facts. I am yet to figure out why they showed Jnanadanandini like an evil queen. She was a remarkable lady who was probably a century or more advanced than her times. Even if she did have some human shortcomings, to show only that and ignore her contribution to Bengal's culture is not just mean but very offensive. As a director or author you have a responsibility to mould your readers and viewers. That lecherous man Ranjan Bandopadhyay has created some weird letters and have called them Kadambari's suicide note. History tells us that the actual suicide note was destroyed by the Tagore family and of course its transcript was never available. Who has given these people the right to defame those who are the pride of our culture? The fact that these people are not present to defend themselves doesn't make it not a crime.
The Tagore family has been the cradle of the Bengal Renaissance. The women of this family have contributed immensely for the betterment of Bengali girls for centuries. We should be grateful to them and showcase them in the best possible way as we should be proud of them. People who have a tendency to look at everything through jaundiced eyes should choose other topics to scandalize on and leave the Tagores to researchers, educationalists and educated people to read, understand and find inspiration from.
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