Indian politics

I had never been as busy as I currently am. For some reason, the days and weeks and months seem to just fly away. I love staying busy, so that's not really a problem, but that dropped blogging to the tail end of my to do list. Also, if all I am thinking about is work, it is difficult to find a suitable blog topic. Agile and scrum methods for software testing or how to test web service calls would not make the right type of articles for this blog. Anyway, what happened yesterday (or rather the night before that) in Indian politics brings me to my first political post for my blog.

Narendra Modi.

I didn't think much about him, to be very honest, I didn't have much information other than he is the current chief minister of Gujarat and that he is a strong Hindu nationalist. After the landslide victory and his party emerging as the single majority after thirty years, I started looking up in YouTube for his interviews. The first one I found was him interviewed by this guy called Arnab Goswami, who apparently can make seasoned politicians stammer. If I didn't watch any other political debate that Goswami had conducted, I would think of him to be a very docile and mellow person because Modi seemed to be the one who was dominating the entire interview. This is not the first time I am seeing any Indian politician speak, I have been brought up in a family that closely follows politics and we discuss it all the time. What struck me about Modi is that - he makes complete sense! His thoughts are clear, his speech is very simple to understand and he speaks to the point (which itself is a great virtue considering politicians).

Bengalis are known to be "seculars". I don't mind being secular if you actually take the word in it's true meaning. Why I put quotes around it is because in so-called "liberal" Bengal, "secularism" has become a synonym for bashing our religion of Hinduism. That is what I object to. For those people who are calling him communal just because he openly projects his religion, I just want to ask a question - is it bad to love one's religion? In the so very democratic country of USA where everyone has the freedom to pursue their own faiths (much more than they have in India) the people are proud of the country being founded on Christian values and they say "In God we trust". Can we do the same in India, ever, without being called "communal"? I see no problem in him bringing Hinduism up front. He is a follower of Swamiji, so why shouldn't he do it? And why should we complain and cringe if he brings up our traditional values? Isn't that what we are proud of, as Indians, our roots? By the way, Wikipedia says that Modi decided to demolish 200 illegal temples in Gandhinagar. If that is indeed the case, then I hope the unbiased leader is very much visible.

He is a great orator and coming from a humble background, I hope he will be able to better relate to our masses than any other person brought up in a lavish, royal style family. I really like his vision and his way of thinking about the entire country on issues like infiltration from neighboring countries. Have we ever heard any Bengali politician, let alone a non-Bengali one saying "mera Bengal"?

It makes me feel really good when I see the youth getting involved in politics. They are the future so shouldn't they be the ones to take major decisions? It is them who would benefit or suffer based on the current decisions. On Facebook, I see most of my friends and young relatives happy about the change.

Leading India is probably one of the toughest leadership tasks in the world. So we shouldn't be expecting too much out of Modi just too soon. However, if he really does concentrate on economic growth and putting the corrupt politicians in jail, I think we would be on the right track.

PS: I can't help but think of Netaji when these sorts of things happen to our country. What he thought of in 1938 hasn't yet been implemented. Shall we ever get a leader of his stature? Are leaders like him made these days? I wonder...

Women's history month

March is called women's history month, where profiles of inspirational women from astronauts to writers and artists to suffragists are shared. Following that I wanted to create my own list of women in my world who have never failed to inspire me and have molded my thoughts and dreams and aspirations.

#1. May-Kitty
She may not be a human girl, but that doesn't make her less inspiring. I have said this before and I'll emphasize it here again that if more girls were like her, the term 'violence against women' would become obsolete within a week. The power puff girl in sub compact size shows me everyday, at all times how size does NOT matter while ruling her world. The round face, perked up ears and spiky tail are always brimming with confidence and with the timely nips and whacks she shows what "girl power" is like.

#2. Marie Curie
As a girl with a background in sci-tech and a love of physics, I grew up admiring Dr. Curie as a shining X-chromosome in the male dominated field. Besides breaking all sorts of stereotypes, she showed how you can truly have a successful career, a happy marriage and two well bred daughters. When people try to tell me that non-working mothers can bring up better kids, I just want to ask them - "have you heard of Dr. Curie?"

#3. Ashapurna Devi
On one side are our dreams and aspirations and on the other side are our roots. While most other women role models are driving me towards my goal, this lady showed me where I came from. She took me to those dark women's quarters of Bengal where the light of education was banned from entering. that's where her writings sprouted from. Her female characters came from common families but they rebelled against the stagnation. They wanted education for girls, a say in planning the family, a clean and hygienic household and to live the life of a decent human being. Ashapurna Devi makes me grateful for what I have. I won't ever take for granted my independence.

#4. Melinda Gates
There are two people whom I follow on Facebook. One is Mark Zuckerberg and the other, Melinda Gates. There are many women all over the world who are just the "wives of rich men". Mrs. Gates could have easily been one of them. However, the computer science graduate and former Microsoft employee decided to take on facing the problems of the world. When I saw that even as a Catholic, she is evangelizing family planning in the poor countries, I realized that she is one of the very few people who don't let religious texts or social norms cloud their free thinking spirit and so I admired her even more.

#5. Marissa Mayer
You can say she is a dictator or that she is a horrible mom because she chose to take only two weeks of maternity leave, but you'll have to admit that there are not many women like her. With a great academic career leading to the position of CEO in a high tech company she is definitely the role model of many young girls all over the world. We know what immense personality, along with hard work and a strong technical foundation is needed to go to where she is currently at. I hope more girls will choose to take up STEM majors after seeing her.

#6. Julia Child and Leela Majumder
I put them together because both these ladies have taught me the things needed to make the house a home. This is the thing I like most in being a woman myself, that we can balance both work and home and the dream of creating a nice and cozy home is not less that achieving a high career. They made me realize that you don't need to be a housewife in order to be a home-maker. Generally, one who is good at work is good at work of all kinds - both in and out of the house!

#7. Rina-di
When I first saw her in 1996, she was just one hair dresser at one of the innumerable hair salons of Calcutta. I didn't notice it, but later my mom said that she felt sorry for the girl as "she is expecting and was on her feet all day." I regularly went to her for my hair cuts till 2007 and still go when I visit home, but her change has been inspiring. Extremely professional and well dressed (which is really great for a suburban girl from a low income family), she has always been a smart lady who knows her job well. She left her job at the salon as they treated her bad and went on to start her own salon. Earlier this year, my sister found out that Rina-di has bought out the salon where she initially worked because they were not doing well after she left. Now she and her husband are managing both the hair salons. Isn't that an inspiring story?

#8. The Soldier Mom
One of the best things about being an extrovert is that you get to talk to a lot of people and in turn, know them. At Hawaii, when I was learning how to make a Lei (flower garland) I was chatting with the other women in the class. Right next to me sat a soldier mom. She came on this vacation on her two week leave from the middle east where she is deployed. I saw her little three year old girl and her husband (who is a civilian) and asked her how was life at where she is deployed. "It could be much worse. I don't have anything to complain", she replied smilingly. I tried to fathom her sacrifice - not just her life, but all the little things that matter to a mother - but I failed. I just thanked her "for keeping us safe" and wish for her safe return after four more months at the front.

#9. My mom
Nothing would have materialized without this particular lady. She has been my most favorite teacher ever who literally taught me everything that I so far know (except computer programming). Those who say that you learn the most by imitating your parents have been totally correct in this case. I saw her read books everyday, I heard her discussing books, movies and current affairs with my dad, I saw her neatly mending old clothes before donating them to charity, I found her admiring and playing with stray puppies. And during all this time she has silently inculcated those values in me. Those ones which embarrass me if I am late in returning a library book, which make me take off my neon colored nail polish before going to work and that make my ears hurt when I hear a wrong English pronunciation. She would go to an international gathering of scholars one evening, her petite frame dressed in a nice silk saree with the same ease as she'd be chopping vegetables the next morning sitting in our kitchen, her everyday wear cotton saree tucked in a funny way and her hair tied in little pig-tails. She has nicely blended the qualities of a former girl scout and a well read University professor and has passed those on to me as much as possible.

#10. Myself
I had to admit it, I do inspire and cherish myself. Everything would have fallen apart if I couldn't do that. I like myself the way I am and I do hope that I will be able to continue that all my life. I cherish my enthusiasm and my love for varied things that keep both my left and right brain activated. I am very much biased towards working women, because I think everyone needs to be independent. I believe that the way the world will see me does depend on what my image for myself is and that I myself have the key on how I want everyone to treat me. If I can't keep myself happy, then I can't depend on someone else to make me so. To sum myself up in one line, the motto of my life should have been - "live free, or die".

Where do you want to see yourself five years from now?

I decided not to talk about work in this blog, but sometimes it will come because it is an integral part of my life. I thought of putting for the title one of the most cliched questions in job interview. It looks like a silly question - how will I know what might happen in five years? Some people say jokingly (I hope not during the interviews) - I see myself in your place. After laughing at this question for a while, I really tried to think why people ask this and then I realized - unless you dream, unless you set yourself a goal, you wouldn't be able to do anything or go anywhere.

And it is not just about work, it is about life. Those people who don't plan their lives, who just go ahead thinking "something will work out" mostly don't get much worked out. I am not saying you need to go about your daily business with a planner in hand, but what I mean is one should dream and make realistic goals. It is not wrong to dream big, actually it is good. But then one has to put those aspirations through practicality and then figure out the final goal. Another thing to keep in mind is, this might be the best case situation and most likely to change. We can't predict the future so something can happen which will turn our self made goals either up or downhill. We have to be prepared.

Don't be shy to set your goals. They may take a while to mature into real projects but you can still make a difference. I have dreams of starting my own non-profit. I know I can't do it now, but if I truly want and prepare myself for that I don't see why I will not be able to make it. I had some other goals too in life, some of them have worked out, some others have taken different forms but so far things look good.

When I first moved to Washington and saw downtown Bellevue, I told Arnab that one day I wish to work in these offices. The tall high rises with company names and logos on top, glistening glass windows and business clothes clad people walking in the streets with laptop bags and coffee mugs in hand, I so wanted to belong there. From yesterday I joined that clan...it was a simple dream but it has come true :)

Valentine's Day

What's the big deal about it? I don't think anyone knows. Some people say why pick out one day to celebrate love? Others say, why shouldn't we? It's about cherishing that particular person in our lives. Some people become very emotional about their spouses, single people sometimes feel bad and at other times try to behave like "grapes are sour" and say all sorts of stupid things to feel good. In all this flows the strong current of commercialization. Humans have not yet failed to amuse me!

I read some articles about the original St. Valentine and then this being a festival to herald spring and what not. Yes, for people who live in cold climates (or in Seattle), spring is very much a welcome break. I see why people became so happy after seeing the climate warm up a little and blue skies shining. And then if there is a way to welcome spring and meet other young people, then why not!

I love Valentine's Day celebrations. Well, I generally like celebrations of all sorts and now I have the American festivals along with the Indian festivals to celebrate so I am double happy! That's why I do celebrate Valentine's Day. I counted this is my 17th Valentine's Day celebration. There are two things that have changed, one is the people and two is the way I celebrate it.

Initially, in the late 90s when this became a big deal back in India, going to "Archie's Gallery" and buying cards were a luxury to us. We would save pocket money (allowances) to buy those and get chocolates. Well, I shouldn't quite say "we". It were the boys who did it. Then they wrote passionate love letters on ruled papers torn from notebooks. Those letters were always in English and they quoted lines from famous songs. Those letters were invariably torn up by the girls to whom they were given and the chocolates always eaten up by friends of that girl. It was at that time when as girls, our sole mission in life was to hate boys. Now, in retrospect I feel so sorry for those boys. Poor kids, they just wanted to be our boyfriends!

Gradually that changed and we slowly started to reciprocate their feelings. This I am talking about late school, early college days. We would sometimes even get permission to go out with those boys in the afternoon and had to definitely get home before evening. Other than exchanging simple gifts, if we could afford it, some people would go to movies or to coffee shops. I remember going to Barista once and eating a pastry worth Rs. 35 which was an exorbitant sum of money for a piece of cake! But yes, that was just one day in the year. Going out for movies or early dinner was ok in our late college days. I personally didn't like going to movies (unless there's some specific movie I wanted to watch) with friends as I thought it to be a total waste of time. You can't talk while watching movies! As most of our friends were single at this time, I have to write about them too. I remember one friend jokingly saying on 14th Feb that she would go search for a boyfriend with a flashlight in hand! There used to be a lot of drama invariably going on around Valentine's Day.

In UAB there was a time when all of my friends were single and that was the time we enjoyed a lot! These people were in general very happy and friendly beings and on being single they were available to hang out with the entire group almost all the time unless they had to study or were busy for academic reasons. There wasn't any drama in this group and I think we all liked everyone else, quite a difficult thing to achieve when there are so many girls! In 2009, we had an "International Girls' potluck" for all the girls in the group and like I said before they were all single, some "geographically single" because of long distance relationships, one "technically single" because she was about to break up, another was "totally single" because she never wanted to be in any relationships. We are wore pink clothes and didn't invite any guys so had all the food to ourselves.

Source

I thought I had grown up after I got married, but then I found out that I haven't. At work, we gave pink, white and red girly cards to the guys in our team with geeky love messages written in them. Like - "always together like a key and a value" or "roses are red, violets are blue, I promise never to open a bug against you". Then we ate funny cupcakes with pink and red frosting which had heart shaped rings as toppers. the guys are cool, they loved this.

I don't believe that once you get married you should stop celebrating Valentine's Day. The only thing is the style changes. Like for me, I'd prefer to have a nice home cooked dinner with Arnab now rather than sitting and talking in a coffee shop. The main thing is if you know that you are loved then it doesn't matter whether you got nice presents, or had a dinner cooked for you. If someone makes you feel special, then chances are that you are anyway celebrating love all through your life :)

On being a teacher

When I first came to know the thing about having an ambition in life, my first choice was that of a teacher. I had my own blackboard where I'd write the alphabet and teach my stuffed animals. I used to have an attendance register and would call out their names before starting to teach. I realize why. In that age (I am talking 4-6 years range) of course we stood in awe of the teachers in school. They were the all powerful beings in our small worlds and so I wanted to be like them.

Gradually that faded out and more serious career options came in to my life, that of being a scientist or astrophysicist. A teacher sounded so boring compared to them. I threw that old silly ambition out of my mind. Then things started to be more practical and I realized just a liking of astronomy is not enough to become an astrophysicist. I'd never have that dedication and it would require a huge amount of effort on my side to master the super difficult scientific problems of astronomy. I took a Coursera class last year on astronomy and believe me, so far it has been the toughest subject I ever tried to learn. Computer programming comes nowhere near it! Glad I never attempted to make a career out of it, that would have been devastating. Anyway, I finally settled down to a more practical career and I intend to continue this. But, life is full of surprises.

I don't really think that Bollywood movie dialogues can be quoted, but here is one that I should. In "Jab we met", when the guy was regretting that he could never be a musician anymore, Kareena reminded him that his life is not over and he is sounding as though he is already dead. That is true. Unless your life is actually over, you can't really say that oh I cannot do this anymore. Of course you can! And opportunities don't come if you are not interested, they don't fall onto your lap. You should be the one seeking it.

I was looking for volunteer options online when this one - to teach English to kids in rural Bengal struck me. I always think of "how would I find the time to do this" when I attempt something new, but here I told myself I will have to find some time. This is important. I applied for the position and got it. That was the easy part. Difficulties started AFTER that.

First was communication! They only understand Bengali, so I had to work with them to set up Skype. That took three weeks. Then was talking over Skype. That took like two days to be able to see and hear each other. Then started the actual class. The first day I took their attendance I thought of my first students - Heffa Lump, Goldie, Whitie, Brother, Winnie...it's just the same! Now the classes are going on for a month and at first even though I was appalled at their grammar the reality is slowly seeping in me. They are orphans from rural Bengal. I can't expect them to know their tenses and their spellings. It is just not possible. I have a lot to work on and so do they. I don't expect all of them to learn fluent English in probably their entire lives, neither do I expect them to write elaborate essays. All I am targeting for these kids to grow up with confidence and for that they need to know how to think, read, speak and write simple English (with correct spelling and grammar) and make the process as fun and enjoyable as I can.

What am I gaining in the process? I guess this question would always come up in any volunteer opportunity you take. What I am gaining is satisfaction. And with it experience! Some young kids halfway across the world who were writing really bad English are slowly, very slowly picking up the right grammar. They are enjoying conversations with me, telling me about their lives, what they like to eat, how they play football in the mud, even inviting me to come stay with them. These are the big things in life. The satisfaction when I see one correct sentence in their homework, when they excitedly raise their hands to answer in class or some particular student would write some more essays just to show that she loves English gives me the confidence to push them forward.

The road is long and there are so many miles to cover before I sleep!

Bon appetit!

Contradictory to what they say about girls from the old land of Jessore (now in Bangladesh) to be good cooks, I never thought cooking to be a big deal while growing up. Yes, I had issues with the daily food that was served and sometimes got tired of the plates and bowls for apparently no reason other than maybe my teenage and wanted to cook something different, but mostly the kitchen stayed outside my world.

Cooking at my dorm was just out of the very old fact that I had to eat to survive. That was the main reason. I looked up recipes online but didn't have ninety percent of the ingredients and what was mainly lacking was time. On most days I had to cook when I was already hungry and I just plain hated it. No wonder why students survive on instant noodles and coffee.

I actually started to like cooking after getting married. That was the time when I realized that I can have my own setup in the kitchen and on the dinner table. Don't underestimate this feeling ladies, this is a big thing. I can cook whatever I want to and can serve it as nicely as possible, maybe put flowers or candles to decorate the table as well. No one will ask me why I am wasting my time over these even if the reason for doing all these on a random day may be that "I just wanted to, that's why!" So began my cooking expeditions.

There have been a lot of good things in marrying Arnab. One of them is that he loves to eat all sorts of food. It's not that he would only like Bengali food and nothing other than that. So I have full freedom in the kitchen. But then who taught me to cook? Here is the fun part... Julia Child and Leela Majumder....two ladies from two different parts of the world and completely different backgrounds and most importantly I have never met either of them. But through their cookbooks they have inspired me and have made me try my hand at French delicacies and traditional Bengali fares with the same enthusiasm. I can't pronounce the names of most of Julia Child's recipes (that's another reason why I'm learning French) and even though Leela Majumder's recipes are about Bengali food, but some of them are from East Bengal and as a result I have no idea of how they should taste or look like. So both of them are challenging in their own way.

The world of cooking is a great one. To cook a good meal gives you a confidence and puts you close to being an artist. It has the same joy of creation. For me, while cooking koi-machher Ganga Jamuna, I can flip the fishes correctly into a different sauce I feel that. Same when hollandaise sauce does not curdle or a chocolate cake has the correct amount of sweetness. It is a great feeling, kind of like when you hit a ball with the center of a cricket bat!

I am glad that I found the right mentors to follow in this endeavor. Leela Majumder herself was exposed to the western style of cooking and western dishes so she could very well explain and compare those in her book and Julia Child of course had the "serventless" housewives in mind. So both work very well for me :) Also I like their styles of cooking. I have read many recipes for Bengali food in books, newspapers and the like but I never liked those. Most of them tell you to put a bunch of spices which in my opinion should clash in their flavorings. Also, some people unnecessarily try to be creative. I don't see any reason why ilish should be cooked with yogurt or onion-garlic and mustard paste should be added together in some dish! I think people have done those to western food as well, but as I don't have much experience with traditional European food, I can't comment on those.

Anyway, so here I am trying out my somewhat new hobby of cooking... and learning to find my way in this big and so far not much explored world of cuisines. It could be the genes I got passed down from my grand mom (on my mom's side who was a great cook) or could be that girls from Jessore anyway love to cook. Time and place changes but the characteristics probably live on...

On quality of life

Yesterday when the Seahawks won, I was really happy. This time I actually followed a football game, understood quite a bit of it, at least enough to know what was going on and cheered for my "home team". (The other time being the Seahawks game against the 49ers two weeks back.) If I thought about it even a few years back, I wouldn't believe that one day I'd download the NFL app on my BB. NFL?? Really?? But I did that just yesterday and I liked the game. What a change for a cricket fan! 

I sometimes think about the life I am leading and try to figure out the comforts and the challenges. When we go to visit Calcutta, there are some people who tell me to "come back to India" for good. Some people have asked my parents why they let their only child to go off to a place half across the world and there are some who are certain that all those people who settle abroad are selfish hypocrites. Anything you mention about India that you don't like and you'll be surely bombarded with "why don't you come back and fix the problem instead of complaining from your plush life?" I wonder if more than a billion people already residing in a country can't fix a problem what big of a difference can one more person make? Or they pull up statistics showing how bad the society where you are living is.

It is true that almost every person who has settled abroad has done that because of a better life. Recently I was having an argument on Facebook where someone was probably trying to tell me that his life is better than those living abroad because he is at home, he gets to meet all his friends over the weekend and goes to work in some air conditioned buses or something like that. And I think he also wanted to say that immigrants like me are slaving their lives just for money. I am not exactly sure about his comments because I had a hard time understanding it. This whole thing came up because of a blog post where the author was explaining why is it good to stick to home.

I wouldn't say this guy (with whom I was arguing) is not right. It all depends on how you see life. If you are glad to remain in your comfort zone and all you ever want is the regularity of the life you have been living for the last two or three decades then yes, stay at home. Right with the same set of people you know almost from birth. There would be hardly any variations and you'll be happy. I personally know quite a few people who are so lost in the US. They don't travel, don't want to meet people, not even neighbors. They cook the food they have been cooking forever and only meet those few people who speak the same language. If you are like that, then stay home where you will be at least leading a normal life. If you settle abroad and then all you do is feel miserable because you can't get your traditional food, then don't. Some people live like that for ages, complaining about everything in the new society, yet living there. 

Even though I didn't know about any of these people, nor did I have a plan about what exactly I'd want to do when I was coming here, I think I did a great job by migrating. Now I am getting to do a lot of stuff that I never really thought I could. I don't think I could do any of my volunteer work from India even if I managed to find time after working in the sweat shops called IT companies. Of course I just thought about myself when I came here, about my degree and the step right after, either a PhD or finding a job. Even now, my main focus is definitely to lead a comfortable life, for which I'd need a good job, I'll have to maintain the house and do all the practical things a normal person should. But that is not all. That is where "quality of life" matters. For that I need my three babies healthy and happy as ever, the birds that I feed, my tiny patch of garden, travels, hikes near Mt. Rainier, my colorful stash of yarns, Julia Child's cookbook, supportive co-workers, the security of a safe neighborhood, emergency services that I can depend on, honest and friendly people around and the clear blue sky that I look up to while relaxing on my hammock.

There is so much to do, so many places to see and so many things to experience... I don't want to waste my time...