Stay unfair, stay beautiful

This is a cliched topic I know, but promoting dark complexion seemed such a refreshing break that I decided to give it a thought and write about it.

In India, I think it came from the Aryan invasion when the dark skinned Dravidians were defeated and driven off beyond the Vindhyas. From then the fair skinned Aryans thought they were a "superior race" and how else to distinguish from the natives other than skin color? "Non-Aryan" became a swear word and inter-racial marriage was not considered a good thing. We have a long history of racism and discriminating against dark skinned people, thousands of years older than the civil rights issues. Like humans still carry forward some remnants of evolution, we Indians have carried forward the skin color bias. In the marriage-market (it is sort of a market, where parents of brides and grooms try to "sell" their products), being a dark skinned girl is a curse. Fair boys definitely need matching fair brides and dark boys also need fair girls to compensate for their darkness. Then what happens to the dark girls? This is a riddle which is not yet been solved. In a society where the words fair and pretty are synonymous, it is no wonder that fairness creams are marketed really easily. What do the advertisements show? A girl who could not get married or a girl who was not sure if she'll make it to the Indian idol all used fairness creams to bleach their faces and look pale and finally reached their individual goals. No mention about their talents, no mention about hard work...just fairness!!! Is it what we really want to teach our girls?

Nandita Das' campaign just caught my eye. She is a very beautiful and bright lady who has a dark complexion. But like many other pretty ladies with sharp features, I think she wouldn't have looked this pretty if she was paler. She is insisting girls stay the way they are and stay beautiful. Nothing is prettier than the natural skin tone you are born with. Same goes for hair and eye color. They all compliment one another. How would an Asian girl look in blonde hair? Or an African girl with blue-green eyes? It somehow wouldn't match.

While all these stuff happen about fairness in India, here in the West it is all about tanning. People are getting skin cancer by exposing to the harmful UV rays but that doesn't stop them from tanning. Bronzers are available everywhere and when I went to buy a face powder, the lady at Macy's gave me one which would make me look a shade *darker* than what I was. Ironically, when we were growing up in India, I knew that while choosing foundation, you need to choose one that is a shade *lighter* than what you are. My skin tone is exactly in the "medium" range so the funny thing I get to see is here I am offered face products in the warm shades and in India they offer me products of the same brand in the cool shade!! LOL!!

The grass keeps on staying greener on the other side...that part is for sure. The only thing is when people try doing destructive things to look better be it pressure from the society or from fashion magazines, that is where we need to make it stop.

Girls, stay exactly as you are - fat, thin, dark, fair, tall, short, whatever... nothing matters. Just eat well, do healthy stuff, go out with friends, dress up (in anything you feel comfortable), hang out with boy friends, make a reach a target in life in work or school and sleep a lot. These would keep you healthy and happy. Well, after all there is nothing more beautiful than a bright smile :)

Superhit Muqabla

Bollywood songs have not really been considered a good thing when we were growing up. Unlike the millennial parents, our parents did not encourage us to wear skimpy clothes as kids and participate in dance competitions which are "in" things nowadays. Watching Superhit Muqabla was our only way to enjoy Hindi film songs.

How we loved that! It has been twenty years since, but I still have fond memories of that TV show. There would be a countdown of ten songs and there would be a jockey who would present it. Finally they had a round where there was a lucky draw. I have forgotten what happened to that "lucky person" but I remember that everyone were sending so many post cards that post offices were almost running out of those!

The glittery world of music, song and dance was very attractive to our young minds. There would be pretty girls and handsome boys dancing in picturesque locations wearing fashinable clothes which we did like to watch. We really didn't understand most of the songs at that time, mostly because I didn't understand Hindi was actually a boon. A few months back Arnab and I did a recap of Superhit Muqabla where we watched snippets of those songs on YouTube. Then it became very clear why our parents didn't like us watching those songs. Most of them were not suitable for kids, not even teenagers! They seemed so extraordinarily impractical now and made no sense. But we liked to watch them.

The funny thing is I am shocked to see how well we still remember the songs that we listened to all these twenty years back. I tried to figure out what is the reason for remembering these songs when we don't have the slightest clue of what were there in our school books from that same time....but I just couldn't find the reason!

These songs act as stress relievers, because you don't need to think much while listening to them, most of them have a nice rhythm and they are good candidates for easy listening. Sometimes they are good as background music when you are cleaning the house or cooking. The rapid beats make you work faster and you feel good. 

Yesterday I was listening to "Ande ka funda" while at work. The weird song did really make me feel good even when my REST requests were not behaving the way they should have :)

The girl after my own heart

A few days back I posted the following picture of May on my Facebook timeline and said that if I ever have a human daughter, I'd want her to be like May.

Why so? Well, look at the picture and tell me what you see. Don't you see courage personified? Don't you see confidence in those green eyes? Isn't the way she is show perfect poise and grace? And she is so regal and pretty with such a no-nonsense attitude about her!! It is true sometimes she hates being picked up, or snaps at the brush during her grooming, but that is ok. What ultimately matters is a soul who is totally comfortable with her existence and can very well rule the rest. That is why I love May so much and that's the sole reason I want a human daughter like May. Whom, people will have to think twice (or a few more times) before wanting to mess with. May lets others know that with some timely smacks by her little claws that can tear apart dogs' noses and vets' hands. 

Brave, confident and graceful. Those are the attributes I like in girls. Those are the things that makes a girl the beautiful yet resilient being on whom everyone can depend. 

If we have more girls like May, I am sure there will be much less tolerance towards oppression. These brave girls will fight for the right cause and would never be hesitant to strike back. They will reach their full potential and make use of their talents. However, they will retain and develop on their feminine identity. Feminine should not mean all pink and fluffy stuff, nor should it bring the image of a docile, placid little thing who is always comfortable in a subservient role. A perfectly feminine girl can have a bold and strong personality and can rule the world. 

I love you May. I wish you all the warmth and comfort and a sunny kitty condo near the window. So that you can sit there all day and hiss at the passers-by (humans and dogs and Peanut Butter) and later you can fight with your brother and sister and drive them off from your room. Wish you all the kitty-pleasures that your kitty-heart wants :) You are truly the girl after my own heart!

London

I have been very busy before I left on my trip to London so didn't get any time to write articles here. Now for the coming week, I'll have to finish my psychology course and would not have any time to write here either. Whatever time I do get, I'll write in my travel blog because I have to finish putting the London diary in order.

While I take a break here, feel free to take a peek at the London notebook here - http://london-notebook.blogspot.com/

Kitchen and herb garden

"The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just on the body, but the soul." - Alfred Austin (Source: http://www.brainyquote.com)

Pansies

There are few things in the world that can come close to the joy of gardening. When we bought this house, it came with a tiny little patch of grass and a bit of soil all round it. The first year I tried my hand at gardening was not a success, it was too overwhelming for me. I had tomatoes the size of peanuts (no, they were NOT supposed to be cherry tomatoes) and my cucumber and egg-plants promptly died after transplanting them. The next year, flowers turned out quite well, they thrived for a little longer than the veggies of the previous year and they looked very pretty. I even had some cut flowers to put on the dining table. That was nice.

Tomatoes

This year I was determined to give the garden some more effort. Firstly, Arnab is tending much more to the grass than before. He is gaining experience too. Secondly, I planted the flowers directly in the soil surrounding the grass. I have seen earthworms there while tilling, so the soil must be rich in nutrients. Next, I bought bigger pots (than I did before) for the veggies. Maybe this potting soil is better too, but the plants are still ok and most of them have started bearing fruits now!

My herb garden started from seeds. It is very heartening to see the seeds germinate and the first sight of little minuscule green leaves poking out of the soil is exhilarating! It's the first glimpse of life! I have got lots of cilantro so we don't have to buy cilantro any more. Rosemary is growing very well too. It has got a fresh smell to it. (That reminds me, I should rub some on the fish I plan to bake tonight.) Parsley and Tarragon also came out very well. I am hoping that I'll get some more cilantro if the snails leave some of them for me. The snails and slugs are eating healthy these days it seems, so they are harvesting my greens before I get a chance to!

Herb on garden rack

The best of the herbs is catnip. I got the seeds from a friend and started the plants indoors. At first tiny leaves showed up, but then they all fell down and I thought they were dead. I did a good thing by bringing the plant out (after the last day of frost) and kept on watering the dying/dead plants. I don't know how but miraculously they came up again. And now they are sturdy little plants with velvety green leaves. I tear off one leaf per day and give it to Peanut Butter. It is a joy to see him rub his nose against it and then eat the leaf!

My egg plant was in a static state for the last 3 months. It didn't wither away but it didn't show any growth either. After coming back from our vacation now I see one bud. I hope it will thrive well. Tomatoes are doing the best. I already harvested some bright red ones. Sweet pea was doing well too until Bebe picked up the plant in her mouth and tossed it away. I put it back, but it didn't live any more. Good that we at least got to eat some of the peas before Bebe decided to throw it away. Now I am waiting for the three cucumbers to fatten up....

Wouldn't it be loverly?

If you were given an option to do whatever you like for whatever time you want it to, what would you choose to do?

For myself, I do like my analytic job as a test automation developer where I get to solve some highly technical programming problems and while writing automation, I am reminded, everyday that the simplest tasks we take for granted are never that obvious to a computer, and I appreciate the human brain even more. But that doesn't mean that I don't have other professions that I like.

There was a time when I really wanted to study physics and become a research scientist, but now I would hardly call that my dream job. If I really had to become a research scientist, I would want to live in a university town all my life, probably not get married and also don't think of having a nice home and family. I would have spent most of my time in labs. Which is very good, but would have been a disaster to me!

Given the mentality I have now and the things that please me, my second option would have been a lawyer. I sometimes wonder if I'd make a feminist divorce attorney... perhaps I would. Empower the girls to get rid of their shackles. Anyway, I am currently reading Arthur Hailey's "In high places" and Alan Maitland's ideals look good to me. The best thing about law is that it exists. Also, tricky law points excite me and it is fascinating how humans can find loopholes in existing law and solve problems (like finding loopholes in a software developer's code). Very interesting profession. I probably wouldn't want to be a criminal lawyer though, that would have been a little too scary for me.

The second one would be a blog writer. Hehe, isn't that what I am doing right now? Well, yes partially true. But I would love to be a professional blog writer. I like writing, so it would be good if I could be in my PJs and sit at home and write...not bad.

How about an interior designer? No, I don't like those half eaten coffee tables, crooked vases or just-about-to-fall-on-your-head wall decor. Neither do I believe that you have to be extremely creative in order to design and decorate a nice home, nor do I believe that "everything has to be in perfect order" in a house. Actually, a good taste and a mid-sized budget is all that you need to have a nicely decorated cozy home. I like neutrals in the background with pops of bold color. Color is extremely important to lift the mood of the inhabitants but that doesn't mean I'd want to paint my bathtub in streaks of orange or put fuchsia curtains in the master bedroom. Anyway, this is not going to be a post on home decor, so I shouldn't say any more on this subject.

The final one would be owning a yarn shop where I can also have classes or group knitting sessions for charity. I would like to have a group of ladies get together and knit-knit-knit while they chat. At the end you have some nice knitted stuff to donate and you also have a bunch of happy contented women :)

Facebook and human psychology

I did an experiment in my psychology class where I found that there is a positive correlation between the importance of social life and Facebook activity. Huh! Well, we might think that who didn't know this, but it was fun to see that in real life data.
I am pretty much a Facebook fan. I love connecting with my old friends from school over Facebook, and also love to share pictures with family and friends. But, as Grumpy has said, I too will die of sleep deprivation if Facebook adds a "dislike" button!
Why?
Mainly for the stupid things people share, without thinking. Those "pleas of help" for some missing child or "important information to share" are absolute spams. They do no help in anyway other than directing traffic to the spammers sites, or worse still, can be depots of malware. Also, for those things like - what to do when people throw eggs at your windscreen or enter your ATM pin the other way to avoid robbery are as stupid as they can get. And I seriously wonder at the intellect of those people who re-post them. Has anyone ever tried to enter the pin backwards? Has anyone tested that? If that was the case, banks would let you know that. Oh, and those of you who think Facebook will donate 1 cent for each "like", you are sadly mistaken. If you really want to help anyone, go do something tangible. This way you are satisfying yourself that you are "helping" some poor person when in reality you are helping spread spam!
The worst of the lot is sharing pictures of gods and thinking that will bring good luck, or it will cause bad things if you don't share. People who think they are smart actually share these!!! ROFL!!! :D :D

Less irritating, but still weird is how people share random quotations and just put the name of someone famous. Then those quotations start making their rounds through people's walls. Again ROFL!!

Then again are the philosophical messages. I didn't know people were so philosophical before I saw those on Facebook. In real life they seem as rash and hot headed as every other person, but on Facebook they share Zen quotations :D

Another thing I fail to understand is, pictures (of girls) ALWAYS have people commenting "so sweet", "so pretty", "OMG! You look fabulous". Do people really mean those? Same about baby pictures. Everyone say "how cute". Seriously? I understand that most baby pictures are cute, but surely not always!

Source

Then there are what I call the "bandwagonish" status messages. If some famous person dies, everyone have to comment RIP :D Started with Steve Jobs, then it goes on and on and on. People who never read say some author's books would be the first ones to comment RIP when that author dies.

Still these bandwagonish messages are better than those whose creativity ends at a status message saying "good morning friends". Hehehe!

The WORST of the entire thing is writing in that special style where letters are eaten up. Where "that" becomes "dat" and "I'm" becomes "m". Nowadays people write bengali in this way too, using Roman script! I sometimes wonder why? There might be a need of this style when people compose text messages, where using more letters might make it longer. But' what's the use of this online? You have a full keyboard to use and no one is setting restrictions on how many letters you can use. It's not even "cool". It makes the stupid messages look even more stupid.

So, the end verdict is, Facebook is an awesome thing. It helps us connect with people for social, family and business reasons...and it is a real life experiment where you can just sit an observe human psychology. I'm definitely going to recommend this to any alien if they want to have a crash course on understanding the basic of human behavior!