Culture SHOCK!!!

Shock would be too mild a word to describe my (and Arnab's) feelings yesterday. We were YouTube surfing to find something to watch last evening when Arnab came across some Bengali movie song, the name of which he couldn't comprehend at once. We played the song to see what it is about and that is when we got this shock. It is horrifying to watch that. I'd any day prefer a third class alien movie over it. The guy is Jeet, and I don't know the girl, but they were dancing to this song which had totally disgusting lyrics and the vulgar clothes and dance moves actually would hurt the eye. We probably have seen similar things in Bollywood songs a lot, but it makes me sad to see these getting reflected in Bengali culture, a culture which we so dearly love and are proud to show case in the world.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am bragging about it, but I would still say the brain drain that started in the late 1960s and is continuing till date has started to show its effects back home. Every year a batch of bright students are scooped up and barring a few exceptions, the not so brights are left behind. They may go abroad for higher studies or go to other parts of India for work. Whatever it is, Calcutta (and Bengal) have started to see a gradual decline in the quality of people.

I have left home six years now and every year I visit I see sub-standard people around in places like Victoria Memorial, Museum and those other ones which were frequented by students and young kids brought by their families. Instead the rush seems to be at South City Mall, where it seems just roaming around in the mall has become the latest trend. Talking about movies and tv shows, only a handful of movies like Bhooter Bhabishyot, Kahaani or Meghe Dhaka Taara are worth mentioning. The rest are of the lot I started this article with. They are reflections of the substandard Bollywood culture which Bengalis have always looked down upon. Last time in Calcutta I saw dance shows for kids on TV which I just couldn't stand. What do they plan to do? What do they plan to teach the young kids? To want to grow up as those dancers?

Where did Bournvita Quiz Contest go? Or the science quizzes for high school kids sponsored by Doordarshan ? Isn't there anything constructive like debates or proper classical song and dance competitions? Do they still have sit and draw competitions in school like the ones Fevicryl organized for us? I doubt. And these things are shocking me, horrifying me as well as saddening me.

A few recent Bengali movies I watched all had something or the other about extra marital relationships. They show drinking and smoking as a new fashion even among girls. I mean, come on, this generation has grown up knowing the effects of smoking, even after that how can they think it to be a fashion statement. And girls!! Do they not know the ill effects smoking has on the health of girls, especially when they want to have kids later? For those people who watch these movies and think this is what happens in the West, FYI, it doesn't. Smoking and drinking are considered extremely bad in the West as well as everywhere else. Other than a glass of wine or a mug of beer I haven't seen "parties" where the sole reason is to drink. Well, it is different among college kids, they do drink beer, but not among grown ups. Being drunk is a bad thing. As for smoking, there are major disincentives for that and smokers smoke on the sly, they don't show it off.

I read a few "interviews" of Bengali soap stars. They are so below the standard that the movies they say they like or the actors they love can't go beyond Bollywood movies. If someone says her favorite movie is "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam" then I have got to worry about that person's intellect. Someone who is unintelligent in one way would most likely be unintelligent in every other way.

If this is what Bengali "culture" has down graded to, then I will be totally happy to not teach my kids anything about Bengal. It will be much better to NOT know Bengal at all than to know these disgusting down market stuff. I would have said the culture is going to the dogs, but I won't because yesterday when the horrid song was on, Bebe jumped up and barked in her most mad way and tried to bite us and make us stop that song. Bebe seems to have got much better taste than many of our fellow humans.

Stay unfair, stay beautiful

This is a cliched topic I know, but promoting dark complexion seemed such a refreshing break that I decided to give it a thought and write about it.

In India, I think it came from the Aryan invasion when the dark skinned Dravidians were defeated and driven off beyond the Vindhyas. From then the fair skinned Aryans thought they were a "superior race" and how else to distinguish from the natives other than skin color? "Non-Aryan" became a swear word and inter-racial marriage was not considered a good thing. We have a long history of racism and discriminating against dark skinned people, thousands of years older than the civil rights issues. Like humans still carry forward some remnants of evolution, we Indians have carried forward the skin color bias. In the marriage-market (it is sort of a market, where parents of brides and grooms try to "sell" their products), being a dark skinned girl is a curse. Fair boys definitely need matching fair brides and dark boys also need fair girls to compensate for their darkness. Then what happens to the dark girls? This is a riddle which is not yet been solved. In a society where the words fair and pretty are synonymous, it is no wonder that fairness creams are marketed really easily. What do the advertisements show? A girl who could not get married or a girl who was not sure if she'll make it to the Indian idol all used fairness creams to bleach their faces and look pale and finally reached their individual goals. No mention about their talents, no mention about hard work...just fairness!!! Is it what we really want to teach our girls?

Nandita Das' campaign just caught my eye. She is a very beautiful and bright lady who has a dark complexion. But like many other pretty ladies with sharp features, I think she wouldn't have looked this pretty if she was paler. She is insisting girls stay the way they are and stay beautiful. Nothing is prettier than the natural skin tone you are born with. Same goes for hair and eye color. They all compliment one another. How would an Asian girl look in blonde hair? Or an African girl with blue-green eyes? It somehow wouldn't match.

While all these stuff happen about fairness in India, here in the West it is all about tanning. People are getting skin cancer by exposing to the harmful UV rays but that doesn't stop them from tanning. Bronzers are available everywhere and when I went to buy a face powder, the lady at Macy's gave me one which would make me look a shade *darker* than what I was. Ironically, when we were growing up in India, I knew that while choosing foundation, you need to choose one that is a shade *lighter* than what you are. My skin tone is exactly in the "medium" range so the funny thing I get to see is here I am offered face products in the warm shades and in India they offer me products of the same brand in the cool shade!! LOL!!

The grass keeps on staying greener on the other side...that part is for sure. The only thing is when people try doing destructive things to look better be it pressure from the society or from fashion magazines, that is where we need to make it stop.

Girls, stay exactly as you are - fat, thin, dark, fair, tall, short, whatever... nothing matters. Just eat well, do healthy stuff, go out with friends, dress up (in anything you feel comfortable), hang out with boy friends, make a reach a target in life in work or school and sleep a lot. These would keep you healthy and happy. Well, after all there is nothing more beautiful than a bright smile :)

Superhit Muqabla

Bollywood songs have not really been considered a good thing when we were growing up. Unlike the millennial parents, our parents did not encourage us to wear skimpy clothes as kids and participate in dance competitions which are "in" things nowadays. Watching Superhit Muqabla was our only way to enjoy Hindi film songs.

How we loved that! It has been twenty years since, but I still have fond memories of that TV show. There would be a countdown of ten songs and there would be a jockey who would present it. Finally they had a round where there was a lucky draw. I have forgotten what happened to that "lucky person" but I remember that everyone were sending so many post cards that post offices were almost running out of those!

The glittery world of music, song and dance was very attractive to our young minds. There would be pretty girls and handsome boys dancing in picturesque locations wearing fashinable clothes which we did like to watch. We really didn't understand most of the songs at that time, mostly because I didn't understand Hindi was actually a boon. A few months back Arnab and I did a recap of Superhit Muqabla where we watched snippets of those songs on YouTube. Then it became very clear why our parents didn't like us watching those songs. Most of them were not suitable for kids, not even teenagers! They seemed so extraordinarily impractical now and made no sense. But we liked to watch them.

The funny thing is I am shocked to see how well we still remember the songs that we listened to all these twenty years back. I tried to figure out what is the reason for remembering these songs when we don't have the slightest clue of what were there in our school books from that same time....but I just couldn't find the reason!

These songs act as stress relievers, because you don't need to think much while listening to them, most of them have a nice rhythm and they are good candidates for easy listening. Sometimes they are good as background music when you are cleaning the house or cooking. The rapid beats make you work faster and you feel good. 

Yesterday I was listening to "Ande ka funda" while at work. The weird song did really make me feel good even when my REST requests were not behaving the way they should have :)

The girl after my own heart

A few days back I posted the following picture of May on my Facebook timeline and said that if I ever have a human daughter, I'd want her to be like May.

Why so? Well, look at the picture and tell me what you see. Don't you see courage personified? Don't you see confidence in those green eyes? Isn't the way she is show perfect poise and grace? And she is so regal and pretty with such a no-nonsense attitude about her!! It is true sometimes she hates being picked up, or snaps at the brush during her grooming, but that is ok. What ultimately matters is a soul who is totally comfortable with her existence and can very well rule the rest. That is why I love May so much and that's the sole reason I want a human daughter like May. Whom, people will have to think twice (or a few more times) before wanting to mess with. May lets others know that with some timely smacks by her little claws that can tear apart dogs' noses and vets' hands. 

Brave, confident and graceful. Those are the attributes I like in girls. Those are the things that makes a girl the beautiful yet resilient being on whom everyone can depend. 

If we have more girls like May, I am sure there will be much less tolerance towards oppression. These brave girls will fight for the right cause and would never be hesitant to strike back. They will reach their full potential and make use of their talents. However, they will retain and develop on their feminine identity. Feminine should not mean all pink and fluffy stuff, nor should it bring the image of a docile, placid little thing who is always comfortable in a subservient role. A perfectly feminine girl can have a bold and strong personality and can rule the world. 

I love you May. I wish you all the warmth and comfort and a sunny kitty condo near the window. So that you can sit there all day and hiss at the passers-by (humans and dogs and Peanut Butter) and later you can fight with your brother and sister and drive them off from your room. Wish you all the kitty-pleasures that your kitty-heart wants :) You are truly the girl after my own heart!

London

I have been very busy before I left on my trip to London so didn't get any time to write articles here. Now for the coming week, I'll have to finish my psychology course and would not have any time to write here either. Whatever time I do get, I'll write in my travel blog because I have to finish putting the London diary in order.

While I take a break here, feel free to take a peek at the London notebook here - http://london-notebook.blogspot.com/

Kitchen and herb garden

"The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just on the body, but the soul." - Alfred Austin (Source: http://www.brainyquote.com)

Pansies

There are few things in the world that can come close to the joy of gardening. When we bought this house, it came with a tiny little patch of grass and a bit of soil all round it. The first year I tried my hand at gardening was not a success, it was too overwhelming for me. I had tomatoes the size of peanuts (no, they were NOT supposed to be cherry tomatoes) and my cucumber and egg-plants promptly died after transplanting them. The next year, flowers turned out quite well, they thrived for a little longer than the veggies of the previous year and they looked very pretty. I even had some cut flowers to put on the dining table. That was nice.

Tomatoes

This year I was determined to give the garden some more effort. Firstly, Arnab is tending much more to the grass than before. He is gaining experience too. Secondly, I planted the flowers directly in the soil surrounding the grass. I have seen earthworms there while tilling, so the soil must be rich in nutrients. Next, I bought bigger pots (than I did before) for the veggies. Maybe this potting soil is better too, but the plants are still ok and most of them have started bearing fruits now!

My herb garden started from seeds. It is very heartening to see the seeds germinate and the first sight of little minuscule green leaves poking out of the soil is exhilarating! It's the first glimpse of life! I have got lots of cilantro so we don't have to buy cilantro any more. Rosemary is growing very well too. It has got a fresh smell to it. (That reminds me, I should rub some on the fish I plan to bake tonight.) Parsley and Tarragon also came out very well. I am hoping that I'll get some more cilantro if the snails leave some of them for me. The snails and slugs are eating healthy these days it seems, so they are harvesting my greens before I get a chance to!

Herb on garden rack

The best of the herbs is catnip. I got the seeds from a friend and started the plants indoors. At first tiny leaves showed up, but then they all fell down and I thought they were dead. I did a good thing by bringing the plant out (after the last day of frost) and kept on watering the dying/dead plants. I don't know how but miraculously they came up again. And now they are sturdy little plants with velvety green leaves. I tear off one leaf per day and give it to Peanut Butter. It is a joy to see him rub his nose against it and then eat the leaf!

My egg plant was in a static state for the last 3 months. It didn't wither away but it didn't show any growth either. After coming back from our vacation now I see one bud. I hope it will thrive well. Tomatoes are doing the best. I already harvested some bright red ones. Sweet pea was doing well too until Bebe picked up the plant in her mouth and tossed it away. I put it back, but it didn't live any more. Good that we at least got to eat some of the peas before Bebe decided to throw it away. Now I am waiting for the three cucumbers to fatten up....