Of morning coffee, grocery shopping, games of scrabble

I don't mean to scare young lovers, but "relationships are not always sunshine and cupcakes". When people are in love, they think that getting married is the final destination. As it is often depicted in novels and love stories and even fairy tales, how a couple goes through the journey and how they face obstacles (be it society, fighting families or an evil witch) on the way which they finally overcome and get married to live "happily ever after".

Simple, huh? Well not really...

"...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

Sounds nice but the actual life is much different. Wedding vows do not include crabbiness after coming home late and finding there's no dinner ready. They don't take into account fights over whose turn it is to clean the cat's (or cats') litter! Nor even which footbal team you are shouting for. Readings from 1 Corinthians 13:4 would not tell you how to keep calm when your wife's driving the car (yes, yes, I can see when the traffic light turns green)!! These are ALL included in the vows of life...

I don't quite know much about "holy matrimony" as I've seen quite a few marriages turning sour or continuing without much involvement from either spouse. I don't even know what part love plays in the whole concept, because if there is love then why do love-marriages break? Where does the love fly off to? Also, love can grow in arranged marriages. There are so many couples out there who were practically married to "strangers" (what else can you call someone in an arranged marriage?) but are living happily for 40, 50, 60 years and bringing up grandkids now :-) So everything is possible!

Another thing people talk about is compromise. I don't see the need of that either. I'm not saying that I don't compromise (people have differing opinions about me, though) but I wouldn't want to compromise in a marriage. I should be able to be my own self. That includes my positives and negative. (Well, my husband should know those before he decided to propose me.) If I compromise, that means I'm stopping myself from doing something that I love to and that brings in disappointment and frustration. Change is needed for the betterment but not to please anyone else!

What I like in being married is having a friend for 24X7 to share the wildest of silly jokes, play chess (scrabble, chinese checkers, whatever...), having a partner to camp out with, snuggle with the furry kids, read good books and talk...with a cup of coffee in the morning or on our 40min drive to work...just plain conversation about anything and everything that I want to talk about... 

Happiness is not really being married to your best friend, but it's about finding your best friend in your marriage...