It has been 4 years since I moved to US as a Fresh Off Board grad student and by now I am kind-of settled in my adoptive country. In these 4 years I have come across many Indians (students like me, second generation kids, people coming to work here, etc) and I have seen some patterns in their behaviors. There are many Indians who are my friends and whom I really like but I have been recently quite upset about some comments from my fellow countrymen (and women) so I thought of writing this. Here are the behavior patterns:
1. The "haters": Yes, they hate. They hate Americans, Chinese (Asians), Afro-Americans and basically anyone who is "foreign" to them. They hate non-Indian foods, non-Indian cultures and are very articulate about their hatred. They think every other person is dumb, have loose morals and maybe they are doing a favor by coming to this country. They are proud of the fact that they don't have any non-Indian friends and give a weird look to those who do have. When I opted to live at our University dorm with a Philippina girl, I was asked why I was not staying with 4 other Indian girls. To me, broadening my horizon and making friends from outside my known world was more important than having Indian food for every meal and go ga ga over the same Bollywood movies. These "haters" think you need to cling on to your culture lest you forget that. And in order to make sure your own culture is great, you'll have to belittle others.
2. The "recliners" : They are clanish too, but they don't hate or complain. They have small groups of friends and wouldn't mix with new people, nor would they let others into their "group". They're sort of laid back. Would prefer to play indoor games and drink for the whole long weekend instead of camping/hiking or any other kind of activity. They'd want to do a lot of things but would end up lazying for the whole day.
3. The "ultra-moderns": To them living in the US is a dream come true. They think of general American life as those shown in Hollywood movies. They misuse their freedom once they step off the flight. They think you have to drink (in large amounts) to be social and "living in" is the ultimate fashionable thing to do. I have heard of people proudly saying that they are going to some "erotic festivals". Ironically, a majority of them come from very conservative families. When their parents do find out how they are leading their lives, they are almost forced to arranged marriages. They marry nice, soft spoken girls from India who have no idea of their husband's past lives. Some do find out later and then a whole lot of troubles come up.
4. The "Down the memory lane": They are really nice people. I don't have anything against them. The only thing is they cling on to their memories. They are very homesick and every time you talk to them they'll bring up old memories in conversations. They do come from loving close knit families but are unable to form nice, strong friendships in this part of the world. So they are lonely. I feel sorry for them :-(
5. The "Learn nothing, forget nothing": They are mainly from the older generation who are totally confused. They try to hold on to the values they grew up with, and most of them were in there 40s at the time of the "internet revolution" and globalization. They'd not forget what they learnt back and are definitely not able to keep abreast with new things. They say "my daughter can't speak in Bengali" quite proudly but then get ad at the very same daughter for having a non-Indian boyfriend. Though, this is nothing to do with age as I've seen many people my age having the same mentality and I know many "old" people who are actually very modern (and happy).
To them all, here's my message. If you are really proud of your own culture/tradition, you don't have to be clanish to preserve it. You need to tell others about your culture and what's the best way to do that? Mixing with people. Once you start having friends from other cultures, you'll be sharing (and learning) new things. Back in my university days, on Diwali party all my non-Indian friends dressed up in Indian clothes - sarees, salwar suits, lehengas. Even the guys wore sherwanis! Just imagine how fun we girls had when we were all dressing up!!! We had "international potluck dinners" at our dorm (where we didn't invite guys cause they'd eat everything up). My aunt, who is a Kathak dancer and truly an artist has taught school kids here to dance to old Bengali songs. I was so amazed when I saw kids of all cultures dancing (and some even singing) to those songs that we all learnt while growing up. If you read the works of Rammohan, Rabindranath, Vivekanada, Vidyasagar or Netaji you'll see how much they appreciated foreigners. How much they mixed with them, found out the best from the other parts of the world. They were stalwarts of our culture, they were those very people who have created the "culture" we are all so proud of. Rabindranath had said "in the human world giving is sharing." You need to give in order to share. This is how you expand your horizon and include everyone in it. This is how you live in a global village.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
"Come to camp..."
"Come to camp girls, come to camp girls,
It's a jolly life and free
Sun and air girls, love and care girls,
It's a joy for you and me..."
- When my mom taught me this girl scout (girls' guide in India)song I didn't have any camping experience. I knew some people would go and live in tents, eat badly cooked (part uncooked) food and almost freeze at night. I was not much bothered. I started camping at 26 when I went to Bay View State Park in WA with Arnab for our first wedding anniversary. It was in western Washington, right beside the Pacific. It was cold and cloudy even in June and we didn't have air mattresses to sleep on so we almost froze!! But it was a great experience!!
Luckily me and my husband have similar likes and dislikes and camping is definitely one of our "super likes" so this summer as soon as it started to get a little warm and sunny in WA, we got out tents and hiking boots out. WA is a beautiful state, I'm in love with the pines, spruces, firs and alders that have made WA the "evergreen state". With that when Mt. Rainier covers half the sky in front of you, Mt. Baker glistens in the sunlight with his two companion peaks, the Pacific stretches from end to end or Snoqualmie plunges a great height covering the foliage in a misty spray, it becomes heavenly!
While hiking or camping in the backcountry, where even the smartest smartphone doesn't have network coverage, the most techie person would have nothing to do but to admire Nature. Camping at Cougar Rock in Mt. Rainier National Park was awesome. At night when we were going to sleep, we lay awake for a while. It was dark in the forest, bears and coyotes were "loosed till dawn" and we could hear the sound of Nisqually river flowing nearby. Everything was calm but we knew the snow-capped-smoldering-inside "Restless Giant" Rainier was awake and was guarding us.
We have seen the diamond studded night sky in Olympic National park. It was the perfect night sky with the star gazer's rival (our big ol' Moon) not there so shine down her "borrowed light" on us. For the first time in my life I saw the Milky Way, and I saw innumerable stars, stars and stars studding the black half dome over us! All this time, Pacific was rumbling and splashing and going up in surf in front of us with his foamy, frothy waves. I had to sing Tagore's "Aji joto taara tobo akashe" and "Mahabishwe Mahakashe" at that time. It would have been an insult to Bengali culture if I didn't do that!!!
Cooking a frugal meal while camping and living in the Spartan way shows us how little our true needs are. We just need a shelter, some food and enough clothing to keep us warm. That's it. Oh yes, and a companion to share this life with. Nothing more. Just like Jerome said in his masterpiece "Three Men in a Boat", "it's the lumber, man", everything else in life which we value so much is all "lumber". Throw them overboard, Jerome said, and your boat of life would be easy to pull through.
On a chilly, misty morning when a sizzling bacon is cooking on an open fire or when you're making s'mores, playing fireside games with your camper friends, or when you're hiking up up up on the trails with a furry marmot crazily whistling at you, a blue jay flying across white snow, you wouldn't want to trade those experiences for anything in the world. You'll realize what it feels to say "The sky thy roof, the grass thy bed and food what chance may bring"...
PS: We are going camping the next long weekend. Hopefully a furry friend would be coming along with us too this time :-)
It's a jolly life and free
Sun and air girls, love and care girls,
It's a joy for you and me..."
- When my mom taught me this girl scout (girls' guide in India)song I didn't have any camping experience. I knew some people would go and live in tents, eat badly cooked (part uncooked) food and almost freeze at night. I was not much bothered. I started camping at 26 when I went to Bay View State Park in WA with Arnab for our first wedding anniversary. It was in western Washington, right beside the Pacific. It was cold and cloudy even in June and we didn't have air mattresses to sleep on so we almost froze!! But it was a great experience!!
 |
| The hall of moss trail at Olympic National Park |
Luckily me and my husband have similar likes and dislikes and camping is definitely one of our "super likes" so this summer as soon as it started to get a little warm and sunny in WA, we got out tents and hiking boots out. WA is a beautiful state, I'm in love with the pines, spruces, firs and alders that have made WA the "evergreen state". With that when Mt. Rainier covers half the sky in front of you, Mt. Baker glistens in the sunlight with his two companion peaks, the Pacific stretches from end to end or Snoqualmie plunges a great height covering the foliage in a misty spray, it becomes heavenly!
While hiking or camping in the backcountry, where even the smartest smartphone doesn't have network coverage, the most techie person would have nothing to do but to admire Nature. Camping at Cougar Rock in Mt. Rainier National Park was awesome. At night when we were going to sleep, we lay awake for a while. It was dark in the forest, bears and coyotes were "loosed till dawn" and we could hear the sound of Nisqually river flowing nearby. Everything was calm but we knew the snow-capped-smoldering-inside "Restless Giant" Rainier was awake and was guarding us.
 |
| Pacific from Kalaloch Lodge |
We have seen the diamond studded night sky in Olympic National park. It was the perfect night sky with the star gazer's rival (our big ol' Moon) not there so shine down her "borrowed light" on us. For the first time in my life I saw the Milky Way, and I saw innumerable stars, stars and stars studding the black half dome over us! All this time, Pacific was rumbling and splashing and going up in surf in front of us with his foamy, frothy waves. I had to sing Tagore's "Aji joto taara tobo akashe" and "Mahabishwe Mahakashe" at that time. It would have been an insult to Bengali culture if I didn't do that!!!
 |
| Breakfast |
Cooking a frugal meal while camping and living in the Spartan way shows us how little our true needs are. We just need a shelter, some food and enough clothing to keep us warm. That's it. Oh yes, and a companion to share this life with. Nothing more. Just like Jerome said in his masterpiece "Three Men in a Boat", "it's the lumber, man", everything else in life which we value so much is all "lumber". Throw them overboard, Jerome said, and your boat of life would be easy to pull through.
On a chilly, misty morning when a sizzling bacon is cooking on an open fire or when you're making s'mores, playing fireside games with your camper friends, or when you're hiking up up up on the trails with a furry marmot crazily whistling at you, a blue jay flying across white snow, you wouldn't want to trade those experiences for anything in the world. You'll realize what it feels to say "The sky thy roof, the grass thy bed and food what chance may bring"...
 |
| That's Nysqually glacier in the background |
PS: We are going camping the next long weekend. Hopefully a furry friend would be coming along with us too this time :-)
Wedlock
Recently I was responding to some comments in Facebook where a guy was all about live-in relationships. I don't know why he is so facinated by the concept of live-in, maybe it makes him feel "ultra-modern". As you can already guess, I am not a big fan of living in relationships. They simply don't make any sense to me. People arguing in favor have only one point to state - "if you are already committed to someone, why would you need to have a legal bond?" In a famous Bengali story by Saradindu, "Bidrohi" (The Rebel), Debabrata, the protagonist says, "When there is love, marriage is unnecessary. And where it isn't, marriage is an inhuman exploitation". But that very rebel later when he was mature said "if not anything marriage has a value in society". Here are the points, why.
1. People who are lucky enough to experience true love in their lives know that it's human nature to express that love. You want to tell the world that you are in love. "I want the world to know that you're in love with me" is the way people feel. Wedding, even if that's a simple affair, gives the opportunity to show that publicly.
2. Legal marriage has a social value. If we didn't have this binding, anyone can go live with anyone else. Then they'll have a bunch of kids who will grow up without proper identity. Humans need the concept of a family to grow up. They need a father figure and a maternal caregiver, which is not possible in broken homes.
3. Unlike marriage, live-ins don't have a legal age. So, technically a teenager can decide to live-in with her boyfriend. Which is disastrous.
4. I don't know where to start from if I want to talk about kids of live-in families. They are given up for adoption, abandoned or brought up with a whole bunch of half siblings. Most of the time the parents are immature, young and don't have decent jobs to support them. All these lead to terrible parenting and bringing up of a generation on weak morals.
5. Also, if some people claim that they have a strong enough commitment that doens't require a legal binding, I ask them, if they are so confident in their relationship why are they scared to give their relationship a legal name?
6. If a couple gets divorced, the parents still have the responsibility of bringing up the kids. If they shun that, there is the Court. This is not possible in live-ins. Fights for custody can take ugly turns too. Most of the time single teen moms are left to fend for themselves and their babies.
7. In the pre-historic days people didn't have the concept of marriage, but then they decided that a formal bonding is necessary to thrive in the society. It is not for nothing that ALL religions, cultures and societies all over the world, so different in all other aspects are unanimous in this respect. They all rever the "holy wedlock". A married couple is looked up to. They are wished happiness and blessed by all. From the Sanskrit mantras saying that marriages last for more than one birth, and the famous Corinthians verse 1:13 of "Love is patient, Love is kind" to the general saying of "Marriages are made in Heaven" we see that marriage is still honored as the culmination of love.
9. On top of that, as marriage is a legal bond, you'll need to pay less income tax if you are married. Your life insurance would automatically go to your spouse if you are a WA resident. These are practical points not to be neglected :-)
10. Another point some live-in people said is, they want to stay and test if the person is right for them before they get married. How many people will they live with to test their "trial and error" process?
11. Why are same-sex couples fighting for legalizing their relationships? Just because they know that having a legal commitment is necessary to live in society.
I can only think of one reason in favor of a live-in is that when you already know you are going to marry this person and you are engaged, then instead of renting two different apartments, you can live together. Or, if you are waiting for your wedding after getting the marriage license!!
In my opinion, people who are not confident in their decisions and who want an easy way out from their responsibilities would want to live in. In that way they can gain the advantage of having a relationship but not the responsibility that comes with it.
There's nothing facinating in live-ins. So think about the pros and cons of marriage versus live-ins before you start to show yourself off as a so called "free thinker". Marriage has stood the test of time and I do believe it'll keep on binding the socitey as it has done always.
1. People who are lucky enough to experience true love in their lives know that it's human nature to express that love. You want to tell the world that you are in love. "I want the world to know that you're in love with me" is the way people feel. Wedding, even if that's a simple affair, gives the opportunity to show that publicly.
2. Legal marriage has a social value. If we didn't have this binding, anyone can go live with anyone else. Then they'll have a bunch of kids who will grow up without proper identity. Humans need the concept of a family to grow up. They need a father figure and a maternal caregiver, which is not possible in broken homes.
3. Unlike marriage, live-ins don't have a legal age. So, technically a teenager can decide to live-in with her boyfriend. Which is disastrous.
4. I don't know where to start from if I want to talk about kids of live-in families. They are given up for adoption, abandoned or brought up with a whole bunch of half siblings. Most of the time the parents are immature, young and don't have decent jobs to support them. All these lead to terrible parenting and bringing up of a generation on weak morals.
5. Also, if some people claim that they have a strong enough commitment that doens't require a legal binding, I ask them, if they are so confident in their relationship why are they scared to give their relationship a legal name?
6. If a couple gets divorced, the parents still have the responsibility of bringing up the kids. If they shun that, there is the Court. This is not possible in live-ins. Fights for custody can take ugly turns too. Most of the time single teen moms are left to fend for themselves and their babies.
7. In the pre-historic days people didn't have the concept of marriage, but then they decided that a formal bonding is necessary to thrive in the society. It is not for nothing that ALL religions, cultures and societies all over the world, so different in all other aspects are unanimous in this respect. They all rever the "holy wedlock". A married couple is looked up to. They are wished happiness and blessed by all. From the Sanskrit mantras saying that marriages last for more than one birth, and the famous Corinthians verse 1:13 of "Love is patient, Love is kind" to the general saying of "Marriages are made in Heaven" we see that marriage is still honored as the culmination of love.
9. On top of that, as marriage is a legal bond, you'll need to pay less income tax if you are married. Your life insurance would automatically go to your spouse if you are a WA resident. These are practical points not to be neglected :-)
10. Another point some live-in people said is, they want to stay and test if the person is right for them before they get married. How many people will they live with to test their "trial and error" process?
11. Why are same-sex couples fighting for legalizing their relationships? Just because they know that having a legal commitment is necessary to live in society.
I can only think of one reason in favor of a live-in is that when you already know you are going to marry this person and you are engaged, then instead of renting two different apartments, you can live together. Or, if you are waiting for your wedding after getting the marriage license!!
In my opinion, people who are not confident in their decisions and who want an easy way out from their responsibilities would want to live in. In that way they can gain the advantage of having a relationship but not the responsibility that comes with it.
There's nothing facinating in live-ins. So think about the pros and cons of marriage versus live-ins before you start to show yourself off as a so called "free thinker". Marriage has stood the test of time and I do believe it'll keep on binding the socitey as it has done always.
Friday, July 08, 2011
Knits and Purls
Isn't it really amazing how that fuzzy ball of yarn slowly transitions into a hat or scarf or blanket with beautiful designs on it? It's hard to believe that you only need two sticks and a yarn to do that. For ladies who knit, knitting is much more than just a pastime, it gives you the joy of creation and when you knit for a loved one or for charity, it adds and extra warmth to that knitted thing.
I learned to knit just a few months back when I was at home for a while in between changing jobs. I am just a beginner (I haven't yet made a sweater as I can't shape armholes and knitting a cabled stitch is still on my "to learn" list), but it is incredible how many things you can make with just knitting and purling.
My first project was a scarf and hat for myself. I always start experimenting on my own self and I did the same with my first cooking experiments as well. The scarf slowly got better from one end to the other. The hat was a funny 3 pointed one. I would rate it as a C+ at best, not more.
Next came a small blanket (the size of a crib blanket) for my furry four legged son, Mota Mao. I made four swatches and sewed them up together and added a garter stitch border to it. Since my son is a baby (and will always be a baby to me), I chose soft pastel shades of pink, blue, lemon and white for him. The four squares are in garter, stockinette, rib and broken rib - all that can be done by simple knits and purls. Mota loves this blanket that his Momma made for him and curled up on it the moment I laid it down :-)
I wanted to gift Arnab, my husband, an afghan for our anniversary but I realized that it is taking too long to make a swatch afghan. So I'll postpone this to his birthday for which I'll have five more months to work on it :-) This afghan is in shades of blue and the swatches are - 4X4 ribs, broken rib and moss stitches. I am sewing the swatches so that they look like diamonds instead of cliched square tiles.
My current projects are blanket and hat sets for preemies which I am knitting for charity. I am making the first blanket in broken rib stitch with a garter border. The matching hat will have a 1X1 rib border and a broken rib body. For the next set I have cabled designs in mind in baby pink and white. I also got a one-pound ball of yarn that looks like candies on white frosting and it is sooooft :) I'll need to make cute layettes and blankets and hats with that. One good thing about knitting for preemies is you can really finish a hat or booties over a weekend (if you can just knit for an hour or two a day at most). If you love to knit and do give your friends and family hand made knitted gifts, please make sure you knit some for charity too. Just imagine how great the feeling is when you think the first gift a baby would get after stepping into the world has been made by you. Also, when you knit for babies, they wouldn't care if a stitch is a little skewed or the pattern is not intricate. They will only appreciate the warmth (in both senses) your knitted gifts bring to them.
Happy knitting...
I learned to knit just a few months back when I was at home for a while in between changing jobs. I am just a beginner (I haven't yet made a sweater as I can't shape armholes and knitting a cabled stitch is still on my "to learn" list), but it is incredible how many things you can make with just knitting and purling.
My first project was a scarf and hat for myself. I always start experimenting on my own self and I did the same with my first cooking experiments as well. The scarf slowly got better from one end to the other. The hat was a funny 3 pointed one. I would rate it as a C+ at best, not more.
Next came a small blanket (the size of a crib blanket) for my furry four legged son, Mota Mao. I made four swatches and sewed them up together and added a garter stitch border to it. Since my son is a baby (and will always be a baby to me), I chose soft pastel shades of pink, blue, lemon and white for him. The four squares are in garter, stockinette, rib and broken rib - all that can be done by simple knits and purls. Mota loves this blanket that his Momma made for him and curled up on it the moment I laid it down :-)
I wanted to gift Arnab, my husband, an afghan for our anniversary but I realized that it is taking too long to make a swatch afghan. So I'll postpone this to his birthday for which I'll have five more months to work on it :-) This afghan is in shades of blue and the swatches are - 4X4 ribs, broken rib and moss stitches. I am sewing the swatches so that they look like diamonds instead of cliched square tiles.
My current projects are blanket and hat sets for preemies which I am knitting for charity. I am making the first blanket in broken rib stitch with a garter border. The matching hat will have a 1X1 rib border and a broken rib body. For the next set I have cabled designs in mind in baby pink and white. I also got a one-pound ball of yarn that looks like candies on white frosting and it is sooooft :) I'll need to make cute layettes and blankets and hats with that. One good thing about knitting for preemies is you can really finish a hat or booties over a weekend (if you can just knit for an hour or two a day at most). If you love to knit and do give your friends and family hand made knitted gifts, please make sure you knit some for charity too. Just imagine how great the feeling is when you think the first gift a baby would get after stepping into the world has been made by you. Also, when you knit for babies, they wouldn't care if a stitch is a little skewed or the pattern is not intricate. They will only appreciate the warmth (in both senses) your knitted gifts bring to them.
Happy knitting...
Monday, May 16, 2011
Free Spirit
The firebrand Henry Louis Vivian Derozio, the revolutionary leader of Young Bengal Society said - "He who will not reason is a bigot, he who cannot reason is a fool and he who does not reason is a slave." How appropriate this saying is! I have come across many people of the above 3 kinds - not speaking up thinking "what would they say?" or don't have the knowledge to participate in discussions or are just wondering "what's the use of me saying anything?". People going about their daily business without thinking, without opinions, just following what everyone else does. They don't make a difference to the world, they would never be missed. I'd rather have these people go extinct than the Polar bears or Royal Bengal tigers!
One needs to ask a lot of questions. One needs to be curious to try out new things. Those ventures might fail but nothing can beat the experience you've got. Don't ever take anything on the face value, try to sift to the bottom of everything. Ask yourself "WHY?" before following anything and don't do that unless you get a truthful answer that makes sense. If the answer to "why shouldn't I eat beef/pork?" is "I don't like the taste" or "I have high cholesterol and I need to stay off from red meat" then you are on the right track, but if it is "that's what my religion tells me" then you need to think more. Same about societal laws and family laws. "Daughters-in-law in our family have never pursued their careers" has been the end of many Indian girls' dream, but those girls who ask for reason, who simply say "why?" have an option to break free. Nothing has come out of "tradition" and "expected of" in this world. Nobody "expected" humans to fly, but the Wright Brothers had the courage to try and succeed. It wasn't "expected of" Marie Curie to pursue a career in science and get two Nobels, but she had the Courage To Know! Same for Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar who started widow remarriage for Hindu girls in the dark days of the history of Bengal. There are many many such examples in the human race who have reasoned, who were not satisfied with "that's what we always have done", those who had faith in what is true and in themselves!
That doesn't mean you wouldn't need to fight. Actually you'll have to fight more as you try to row against the current but you'll achieve something at the end. Try to say "yes" to new things and new opportunities as Google's Eric Schmidt has said. You'll see a whole new world unfolding in front of you as you try out new things, meet new people and listen to new ideas! After all "it's much better to be a crystal and get shattered to a thousand pieces than to sit silently all your life being a piece of tile on a roof top"!!!
One needs to ask a lot of questions. One needs to be curious to try out new things. Those ventures might fail but nothing can beat the experience you've got. Don't ever take anything on the face value, try to sift to the bottom of everything. Ask yourself "WHY?" before following anything and don't do that unless you get a truthful answer that makes sense. If the answer to "why shouldn't I eat beef/pork?" is "I don't like the taste" or "I have high cholesterol and I need to stay off from red meat" then you are on the right track, but if it is "that's what my religion tells me" then you need to think more. Same about societal laws and family laws. "Daughters-in-law in our family have never pursued their careers" has been the end of many Indian girls' dream, but those girls who ask for reason, who simply say "why?" have an option to break free. Nothing has come out of "tradition" and "expected of" in this world. Nobody "expected" humans to fly, but the Wright Brothers had the courage to try and succeed. It wasn't "expected of" Marie Curie to pursue a career in science and get two Nobels, but she had the Courage To Know! Same for Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar who started widow remarriage for Hindu girls in the dark days of the history of Bengal. There are many many such examples in the human race who have reasoned, who were not satisfied with "that's what we always have done", those who had faith in what is true and in themselves!
That doesn't mean you wouldn't need to fight. Actually you'll have to fight more as you try to row against the current but you'll achieve something at the end. Try to say "yes" to new things and new opportunities as Google's Eric Schmidt has said. You'll see a whole new world unfolding in front of you as you try out new things, meet new people and listen to new ideas! After all "it's much better to be a crystal and get shattered to a thousand pieces than to sit silently all your life being a piece of tile on a roof top"!!!
Monday, May 09, 2011
Housekeeping for the servantless working woman
Yes, I have been inspired by Julie Child's cookbook, but I don't intend to jot down my culinary skills here, I'll write about another aspect of family life, that is housekeeping.
Housekeeping, like most other things is an art. Some women are extraordinarily good at it, while others have to just manage with what they've got. All women are born with some instincts about housekeeping, the rest we have to learn and practice(as always).
Our houses don't always have to be fancy and well decorated. It can be a studio apartment in a busy city or a cottage style cozy little house in the town, but the housekeeper has the key to make it a "home".
Nowadays most families have both couples working. Even when the second salary may not be "needed", women are pursuing their dream careers (and why wouldn't they?) but that does never mean that we are any less good housekeepers than our moms or grandmoms. How ever much career oriented a woman may be, I am yet to know of someone who doesn't like to arrange fresh cut flowers for her centerpiece, doesn't want to knit a throw for her husband or doesn't care about packing a home cooked lunch. So here comes what I've learnt through my own (one year) experience at housekeeping:
The first thing a house needs to be is CLEAN. It does not matter if it is well decorated with costly furniture if the toilet stinks and the hardwood floor is greasy. Well, we all know this, but attaining the level of cleanliness we intend to reach sometimes seem impossible. So let's go through the bullet points.
0. The pre-req: You have to have a husband who co-operates in the cleaning/arranging process with you. A tip: Never leave cleaning to a guy's discretion. They have a tendency of being oblivious to dirt/dust/cat hair. So instead of telling them "clean the bathroom", point to a dirty place and say "clean this! NOW!!!"
1. Find out those major-cleaning regions of the house. 1. The kitchen and 2. The Master bath. Keep these two places scrupulously clean even if that means paying less importance to the other rooms. The best habit is to wipe the sink, counter tops, stove top with a pre-moistened cloth like Chlorox or Lysol. It cleans, takes off grease and disinfects too. Wiping off these smooth, straight places before going to bed would take very little time but would give you a fresh feeling the next morning! Also, you can spray some air freshner before going to bed :-)
2. The dining table: I am very traditional when it comes to having dinner. I strictly believe that "dinner time is family time". Obviously you cannot lay a table if it's full of bread crumbs, spilt coffee and cat hair (our cat loves to sit on the dining table looking like a china showpiece). So you've got to wipe the table before(and possibly after) every meal. When you brush off the crumbs, some would fall down. Pay attention while vacuuming the carpet below the table, it becomes very very dirty.
3. The master bedroom. The main thing in this room is--- THE BED. And that gives you the solution. Crumpled sheets, scattered pillows, laundry and wet towels on the floor and nightstands piled high with magazines would not make the room look pretty. When you get up in the morning, spend a minute in straightening the sheets and comforter. You'll yourself feel great later in the evening when you'll slip under smooth sheets :-) Also, don't forget the purpose of nightstands. They are meant to support a lamp and those things like a glass of water, spectacles, alarm clock (or cell phone) and a few books. So don't stack it up with things you just want to keep out of your way. If you have a dresser/mirror in your master bedroom, keep the top of the dresser clean. Also, don't dump everything on it. Perfume bottles, trinkets and photo frames look nice on it.
The most important thing to keep in mind while cleaning/arranging your house is to be grateful that you HAVE a house to clean/arrange/decorate. Enjoy your house and be happy!!
Housekeeping, like most other things is an art. Some women are extraordinarily good at it, while others have to just manage with what they've got. All women are born with some instincts about housekeeping, the rest we have to learn and practice(as always).
Our houses don't always have to be fancy and well decorated. It can be a studio apartment in a busy city or a cottage style cozy little house in the town, but the housekeeper has the key to make it a "home".
Nowadays most families have both couples working. Even when the second salary may not be "needed", women are pursuing their dream careers (and why wouldn't they?) but that does never mean that we are any less good housekeepers than our moms or grandmoms. How ever much career oriented a woman may be, I am yet to know of someone who doesn't like to arrange fresh cut flowers for her centerpiece, doesn't want to knit a throw for her husband or doesn't care about packing a home cooked lunch. So here comes what I've learnt through my own (one year) experience at housekeeping:
The first thing a house needs to be is CLEAN. It does not matter if it is well decorated with costly furniture if the toilet stinks and the hardwood floor is greasy. Well, we all know this, but attaining the level of cleanliness we intend to reach sometimes seem impossible. So let's go through the bullet points.
0. The pre-req: You have to have a husband who co-operates in the cleaning/arranging process with you. A tip: Never leave cleaning to a guy's discretion. They have a tendency of being oblivious to dirt/dust/cat hair. So instead of telling them "clean the bathroom", point to a dirty place and say "clean this! NOW!!!"
1. Find out those major-cleaning regions of the house. 1. The kitchen and 2. The Master bath. Keep these two places scrupulously clean even if that means paying less importance to the other rooms. The best habit is to wipe the sink, counter tops, stove top with a pre-moistened cloth like Chlorox or Lysol. It cleans, takes off grease and disinfects too. Wiping off these smooth, straight places before going to bed would take very little time but would give you a fresh feeling the next morning! Also, you can spray some air freshner before going to bed :-)
2. The dining table: I am very traditional when it comes to having dinner. I strictly believe that "dinner time is family time". Obviously you cannot lay a table if it's full of bread crumbs, spilt coffee and cat hair (our cat loves to sit on the dining table looking like a china showpiece). So you've got to wipe the table before(and possibly after) every meal. When you brush off the crumbs, some would fall down. Pay attention while vacuuming the carpet below the table, it becomes very very dirty.
3. The master bedroom. The main thing in this room is--- THE BED. And that gives you the solution. Crumpled sheets, scattered pillows, laundry and wet towels on the floor and nightstands piled high with magazines would not make the room look pretty. When you get up in the morning, spend a minute in straightening the sheets and comforter. You'll yourself feel great later in the evening when you'll slip under smooth sheets :-) Also, don't forget the purpose of nightstands. They are meant to support a lamp and those things like a glass of water, spectacles, alarm clock (or cell phone) and a few books. So don't stack it up with things you just want to keep out of your way. If you have a dresser/mirror in your master bedroom, keep the top of the dresser clean. Also, don't dump everything on it. Perfume bottles, trinkets and photo frames look nice on it.
The most important thing to keep in mind while cleaning/arranging your house is to be grateful that you HAVE a house to clean/arrange/decorate. Enjoy your house and be happy!!
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Mahalaya - reminiscences
October 7th 2010 was just another Thursday for me. I woke up as usual, went to work, spend the whole day testing software and then came back home, pottered about with some household chores and went to sleep. However, what I missed out was that it was Mahalaya. 4 years back the situation would have been very different.
Anyone who grew up in Calcutta knows the significance of Mahalaya. It is the new moon of the month of Ashwin and it heralds the Durga Puja - the greatest festival of Bengalis all over the world. On that day people do some religious ceremonies but the most significant part is a radio oration that takes place in the early hours of dawn - "Mahishashuramardini". In the CD of this radio program, they say the genre is "Bengali devotional" but that makes it sound so clichéd. This, though is a recitation of Sanskrit shlokas and is very much spiritual, the whole thing is much more social than religious and is loved by everyone, including atheists :-)
At 4 in the morning, Bengali households wake up. Putting their hands out from the mosquito nets they turn on the radios...the program starts. From when it started in the 1930s, it was transmitted live. The rich voice of Sri Birendra Krishna Bhadra fills the early morning. Accompanied with that are various Sanskrit chantings and Bengali songs all praising the Goddess Durga.
From when I can remember, I used to wake up and see the sky showing the early colors of dawn, I would listen sleepily to the Sanskrit mantras- the story of Hindu mythology how Durga was created - as a personification of power to kill the powerful demon Mahishashura. As I listened to it, my mind would wander off to the Himalayas and I visualized how the Gods created Durga, how they gave her divine weapons and how she finally won the war against evil. Listening to the songs, sometimes drowsing off, I would think of the festivities that would start within a week, the new clothes and shoes, where I would go pandal hopping with my friends and family...
The sky turns cornflower blue here and wispy clouds float by, I have seen gigantic "kash-phool", I can feel a "himer parash" in the morning breeze and the grass of my back yard glistens with dew in the early morning...but nowhere do I find the warmth of Durga Puja ... gone are those days of Puja shopping, of "Pujoy chai notun juto", of all night pandal hopping, of gulping phuchka, sitting at Maddox Square with friends, of riding ferris wheel (we called it a Giant Wheel) with my mom and sister, visiting relatives after Bijoya Dashami and many many many happy times...
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