Talking about delayed gratification

It is quite common knowledge that delayed gratification is a good thing. Waiting for something good, preparing yourself for a better future, have been drilled into kids across all cultures in many different ways. For example, which Indian kid didn't grow up hearing parents say, "if you study now, you will have a secure future which you will be able to enjoy much more". We know that sacrificing small enjoyments now, especially those of smaller significance, generally leads to happier things later. Education and career together generally comprise of a good example. Of course, I would point out here that there needs to be a balance. There can be nothing more sad than a kid wasting his entire childhood only for securing good marks. I have seen some people like that, and sadly, they didn't really enjoy their adult lives either. Most of them became socially awkward and lacked friends.

St. Francis watching over all creatures big and small

Anyway, in my life, the best form of delayed gratification and the happiness gained from that has come through gardening. I had almost no idea about gardening before we moved to this house. Like everything, I wanted to try my hand at this new adventure and very soon I figured out that the first thing needed, even before I got my hand into potting soil, compost or even my gloves, was patience. I lack that skill, but however much I may want the plants to grow, they would not listen to me. They need to and always will follow Nature. Yes, I can fertilize them, but even with that I can't really make them DO anything.

We got a garden arbor and I wanted to have a climber grow on it. I have seen many pictures of lovely arbors in Europe where climbing roses cover the entire arch. So I got a plant that would supposedly thrive here in part shade and dug up a big hole and stuck that in there next to the arbor. It was a skinny little thing with weak tendrils. I watched its buds come out one by one and little green shoots emerging from there. Painstakingly, I would wrap the young branches around each bar of the arbor and would think of the day it would be able to climb over to the other side.

Two years passed. Last Fall it showed beautiful fall coloring before calling it a year. This Spring, tiny buds emerged one day and magically the next morning, the bright green young leaves came out. It reminded me of the Bengali poem "কাল ছিল ডাল খালি , আজ ফুলে যায় ভরে। বল দেখি তুই মালী, হয় সে কেমন করে?" 

(Yesterday the branches were all lonely, today they are filled with flowers, tell me Gardener, how can this be?)

Over the arch

Now, in summer that same plant has formed a leafy canopy over the arching arbor and many new branches have grown. Actually it is becoming so crowded there that we have installed two more trellises so that the young tendrils can hang on to them. It is so peaceful to stand under the arbor and look up. Busy spiders weave their webs carefully that glisten in the morning sunshine. A climbing rose is making its way up the arbor, dotting the green foliage with blood red flowers. Bees buzz around, birds chirp. It is like a little nook of peace and quietude. 

Revelations of a student's life

I was an above average student for most of my life, but I have been notorious about my hatred towards studying for exams. Growing up in a culture where academic abilities were considered to be even more important than other normal social qualities, I had the habit of studying only as much as I needed to get a decent enough grade (and sometimes even poorer grades made me feel ok enough). I saw no reason why teenagers need to waste two thirds of their days just to score high marks and I still see no value in that. What I am trying to get to is that I didn't like formal education.

To say that I didn't like to go to school or college would be totally wrong though. As someone who gains energy from being with people, I definitely enjoyed school and college both, but being a day scholar, I had no idea what an ideal "campus life" should be. I was introduced to it though the bright and shiny colorful magazines at USEFI where I went for my GRE preparation. When I saw those pictures of college students sitting on grassy fields studying together or walking, working at labs, I unknowingly started to dream of a future like that. In the last semester of my undergrad, I had the opportunity to represent our college at a tech fest of the prestigious IIT. Don't ask me about the projects or how we did there, but I can confidently say that my gain from that short trip was huge! Other than the fact that I was introduced to many other young students from the rest of the country and had the luck to attend a speech by Capt. Rakesh Sharma, I also found out what that campus life is all about. One evening after dinner, as we were walking to the load runner robot trials I felt a deep sense of independence and I was really looking forward to the University days that were soon to come.

Many people have dreams about University, what I mostly wanted to do was ride a bicycle in the campus wearing shorts. I am glad to report that it came true in the summer of 2008!

I actually started studying on my own and out of my own interest during my masters and I could finally feel that life was what you want it to be. Things were tough, like I had very little money, programming was hard (given my shaky foundations of the subject) and cooking a decent meal was an ordeal, but life was good in general.

Last weekend, I had these feelings come in a wave as I visited the world famous Stanford University. Like a hallowed place, I felt that the campus is thriving with new ideas, hard work, immense intellectual power and all the good things that go with it. Just like people believe that religious places have a good spirit hanging around, I believe that universities and laboratories have that too (maybe much more than places of religion). Simple thing is that both Arnab and me, coming from humble academic backgrounds felt like attending classes once more, work in the labs and learn new things. The power of learning conquered all the bad experiences of memorizing long notes without understanding, reading photocopies, having disgusting teachers and the whole concept of scoring marks for a better future. Walking through the peaceful campus where teachers were meeting under the shade of a tree and students taking naps on benches in between classes, I should admit I felt jealous, especially at the sight of students riding their bikes to class. I remembered my own college days where I had to carry books from the library along with my T and roll pack, managing my clothes while sitting precariously on a three wheeled public transport wondering if the guy next to me is getting unnecessarily close on purpose. These universities do not lack funds, students don't have to choose a particular course because the other choices are unavailable due to lack of a teacher, student politics are unheard of, cafeterias don't overflow with students smoking cigarettes. The ambience is of learning, peace and quiet. Yes, it is true that stray incidents do happen here too, like the recent criminal case at Stanford, but those incidents can't tarnish the quality of these places.


I asked my parents why they didn't choose to migrate here, because then I would have got better career choices and at least wouldn't have to struggle for maintaining my work visa or wait for years to get a permanent residency. But then I also realized that while it is true that nobody would prefer to struggle over getting a plush life, these experiences have made me what I am today. The fact that I know both sides of the equation would at least make me grateful for the the life that I have today.