What is the connection between - ghosts, swimming and driving a car? You can get really creative and draw convoluted connections between the three, but in general, there is none. Actually there is. I got over my fear of all three of them in the last four days and utilizing the same concept.
Thirty two is double the age of new drivers. Here kids actually get a drivers license at sixteen (two years before what the legal age is in India), so I am more than enough old to drive. It is not that I can't drive, but the problem was that I lacked the confidence to drive on the freeway. Changing lanes while you (and the car next to you) are going at sixty five mph is not really that easy. Then there are the crazy people who change lanes all of a sudden without any indicator, those ones who text, those who yell at people on the phone, and even apply eye makeup! So the net outcome was I was scared, so I didn't drive on the freeway, as a result I never gained that confidence.
I did attempt to swim back in India in a pool with probably seventy other girls. All I learned was the kicking. The pool obviously was overcrowded, there was no concept of a swim lane and it went from three feet to six feet depth within a very short distance. The bottom of the pool was slippery tiled so I was always terrified of slipping and drowning at the six feet end. I guess another big problem was that without glasses I couldn't see what was going around so I never felt comfortable enough to swim. Closing your eyes while swimming doesn't give a good sense of balance. I attempted swimming here again and I learned the techniques for freestyle. Holding on to the kick-board, I would be fine, but the moment I had to let go of the kick-board I would start panicking. Same outcome - scared, didn't attempt to swim, never gained confidence to plunge in water.
Ghosts are a little too tricky. I have hardly ever watched any ghost movie, but I have read a lot of ghost stories and I was terribly scared of ghosts. The worst part is that, when I am alone and trying to sleep, at that precise moment all random ghost stories would pop up in my brain. Then I would be terrified for a long time at night and get startled at any creaking sound in the house.
The solution for all these came through my swim teacher. She is one of the most direct and no-nonsense people I have ever met. I appreciate the fact that she doesn't sugarcoat her thoughts towards me. When I showed her all that I know, she asked me to just swim. Then I said, I am scared that I won't be able to breathe properly and she replied, "that is not fear, that is laziness. Get over it!" She explained that I, or rather my body knows exactly what to do in water, it is just the brain that is doubting it. "Give your brain something else to think about," she said, "remind yourself to just keep on kicking and that will keep you afloat." I followed that advice. When I was turning my head to breathe, I didn't think of the breath, I just kept my focus on the kicks and consciously kept my head in water. It is very counterintuitive but the more you lower your head, the better your body will float. I talked to many people here who have forgotten when they learned how to swim, maybe they were just splashing around in the family pool and just got to swim. Initially, I would have felt bad that we never really got this chance and now I am so old. But then I found out that most of these people can't swim well, they don't know the techniques of breathing or the right body positions. I have learned late, but I have learned the right thing.
Once, I could swim, I thought what was the trick. Then I figured out that the main thing is giving my brain something else to think. I applied the same logic for driving on the freeway. Just like the swim movements, I know the basics of driving. I know how to go forward, reverse, change lanes, etc. Then it is just the brain that is over thinking. So I concentrated more on the muscle memory and the reflex part but I played some songs to divert the overthinking brain. And it worked. I made it to work and back through I-405 and actually on the fastest lane.
Arnab is out of town attending a conference now. So I am practically the only human in the house. When thoughts of ghosts popped up, I did the same. Just diverted my mind with nice thoughts like our next upcoming vacation or things at work. I also told myself that if a ghost comes, that is, if I really see a ghost, then I will come up with an action plan. Until then, I don't need to worry about them. That has worked too and I have dropped off to a very comfortable sleep. Having a heavily purring cat curled up next to me also helps.
Thirty two is double the age of new drivers. Here kids actually get a drivers license at sixteen (two years before what the legal age is in India), so I am more than enough old to drive. It is not that I can't drive, but the problem was that I lacked the confidence to drive on the freeway. Changing lanes while you (and the car next to you) are going at sixty five mph is not really that easy. Then there are the crazy people who change lanes all of a sudden without any indicator, those ones who text, those who yell at people on the phone, and even apply eye makeup! So the net outcome was I was scared, so I didn't drive on the freeway, as a result I never gained that confidence.
I did attempt to swim back in India in a pool with probably seventy other girls. All I learned was the kicking. The pool obviously was overcrowded, there was no concept of a swim lane and it went from three feet to six feet depth within a very short distance. The bottom of the pool was slippery tiled so I was always terrified of slipping and drowning at the six feet end. I guess another big problem was that without glasses I couldn't see what was going around so I never felt comfortable enough to swim. Closing your eyes while swimming doesn't give a good sense of balance. I attempted swimming here again and I learned the techniques for freestyle. Holding on to the kick-board, I would be fine, but the moment I had to let go of the kick-board I would start panicking. Same outcome - scared, didn't attempt to swim, never gained confidence to plunge in water.
Ghosts are a little too tricky. I have hardly ever watched any ghost movie, but I have read a lot of ghost stories and I was terribly scared of ghosts. The worst part is that, when I am alone and trying to sleep, at that precise moment all random ghost stories would pop up in my brain. Then I would be terrified for a long time at night and get startled at any creaking sound in the house.
The solution for all these came through my swim teacher. She is one of the most direct and no-nonsense people I have ever met. I appreciate the fact that she doesn't sugarcoat her thoughts towards me. When I showed her all that I know, she asked me to just swim. Then I said, I am scared that I won't be able to breathe properly and she replied, "that is not fear, that is laziness. Get over it!" She explained that I, or rather my body knows exactly what to do in water, it is just the brain that is doubting it. "Give your brain something else to think about," she said, "remind yourself to just keep on kicking and that will keep you afloat." I followed that advice. When I was turning my head to breathe, I didn't think of the breath, I just kept my focus on the kicks and consciously kept my head in water. It is very counterintuitive but the more you lower your head, the better your body will float. I talked to many people here who have forgotten when they learned how to swim, maybe they were just splashing around in the family pool and just got to swim. Initially, I would have felt bad that we never really got this chance and now I am so old. But then I found out that most of these people can't swim well, they don't know the techniques of breathing or the right body positions. I have learned late, but I have learned the right thing.
Once, I could swim, I thought what was the trick. Then I figured out that the main thing is giving my brain something else to think. I applied the same logic for driving on the freeway. Just like the swim movements, I know the basics of driving. I know how to go forward, reverse, change lanes, etc. Then it is just the brain that is over thinking. So I concentrated more on the muscle memory and the reflex part but I played some songs to divert the overthinking brain. And it worked. I made it to work and back through I-405 and actually on the fastest lane.
Arnab is out of town attending a conference now. So I am practically the only human in the house. When thoughts of ghosts popped up, I did the same. Just diverted my mind with nice thoughts like our next upcoming vacation or things at work. I also told myself that if a ghost comes, that is, if I really see a ghost, then I will come up with an action plan. Until then, I don't need to worry about them. That has worked too and I have dropped off to a very comfortable sleep. Having a heavily purring cat curled up next to me also helps.
