A couple of weeks back a flyover (overpass) collapsed in Calcutta and scores of people died. It was very shocking to see that news on the first page of The Wall Street journal while standing at Starbucks here in Bellevue. It wasn't nice either when non-Indian coworkers asked me the details about it and enquired if my family is safe. I understand their intent was good, but to explain to them why the flyover collapsed and show them the pictures were very difficult for me. I have lived in Calcutta all my life until I moved here, so to me that is home. That city knows me like no other. All my life stages are entwined with it, along with tons of pleasant memories. So when bad things happen to that place, I feel bad.
There is a thing I have heard often, especially from people over Facebook. If I argue with them about something in India, well may not always be things in India, can be anything, and if they don't like my logic, then they say - "but you don't even live here. Why don't you come over and try to do something for the country?" I have no idea why in today's world we have to be physically present in the country to do something. Maybe they don't have any idea of globalization? Anyway, whoever is reading this post, if you have the same mentality then please stop here. If you believe that just like staying away from your family doesn't mean that you don't have any say there, staying away from your country doesn't take your right away to speak up for it, nor to point out the bad part, then proceed.
The flyover crash is a physical thing that bothered me, but it is the tip of the iceberg. It can be seen. There are many other things happening in the city that bothers me a lot as well. The cultural capital of India, Calcutta has been famous for numerous literary giants, musicians, singers, film makers, artists and even actors (both stage and film). Bengalis have been known to be believers of plain living and high thinking. I wouldn't say that we had Spartan lifestyles, but "middle class" Bengalis never saw any reason for spending beyond means. The most important thing they did for their kids was to push them for better education. "Education, education, education" has been the mantra of Bengali parents throughout the ages. A kid was considered "good" or "bad" depending on his performance in academics. Along with that went extra curricular activities that included one or all of singing, dancing and painting for girls and painting or singing for young boys along with sports. Swimming was also encouraged, playing outdoors was a little difficult in the main city, but in the outskirts it was extremely common. Television viewing was restricted and highly discouraged because it was believed to be distracting for studies. "You will forget all that you learned" was a common phrase we all heard if we watched Bollywood songs. Bollywood movies were referred as Hindi cinema and movie songs as Hindi songs in a very derogatory way by our elders.
In our late teenage and early college days, going to movies with friends was a big deal. Shopping malls were coming up but those weren't places to visit. Parks, museums and just normal walks along the crowded streets were common dating places. Dates were confined to eating street side food with the bare minimum allowance we had. Some college students earned meagre incomes by giving tuitions. Our elders disciplined us. That included teachers, relatives and even neighbors. We were spanked by our parents as kids and they saw nothing wrong with it. Actually, it was a big part of parenting. Parents never praised us in public. Actually I have never heard any of my cousins or friends or for that matter any young person being praised by their parents. We were compared to others, our exam scores were compared to our friends, older cousins, parents' friends' kids, kids in the neighborhood. Everyone knew our exam scores and ranks in competitive exams. Parenting experts of the West will be shocked at how our parents still managed to raise sane kids. All my friends from school and college are well settled in their lives and none of them show any traits of not loving their parents and families.
Things have changed now. The people of the city are more concerned over awarding actors from soap operas than they care for any academician. Strikes are common in colleges resulting in brawls. The 1970s also saw strikes in colleges, but those left liberal students were idealists. They were not the political hooligans we see now. Students of nationally famous universities, where it is difficult to get admitted are getting beaten up by political parties. Classes are cancelled, exams postponed. In a situation like this, where is the atmosphere to talk about innovation, research or of the future? Little kids are being encouraged by their parents to take part in "talent search" competitions where they sing and dance to obscenity. In our childhood, talent search competitions were math tests where the top performers got scholarships. Shopping malls are the new places for family time. I have been hearing about DJs coming to Bengali weddings as well! I think I am lucky to not get any invitation for those. Even the clothes seem to have lost the Bengali simplicity. Flashy sequined blouses and weird colored synthetic sarees are not things I can relate with Bengali girls. Nor can I imagine our earlier generation spending their evenings at pubs drinking beer. The book crazy society is dying, so are the cricket lovers at Eden Gardens and the boisterous crowd who took Mohunbagan vs East Bengal matches more seriously than world wars. The crisp cotton saree wearing women, the Rabindrasangeet singers, the old family homes are all getting lost... a culture is slowly crumbling under the pressure of ill bred and uneducated people flocking to Calcutta who, at heart can never be the true residents of the Second City of the British Empire.
There is a thing I have heard often, especially from people over Facebook. If I argue with them about something in India, well may not always be things in India, can be anything, and if they don't like my logic, then they say - "but you don't even live here. Why don't you come over and try to do something for the country?" I have no idea why in today's world we have to be physically present in the country to do something. Maybe they don't have any idea of globalization? Anyway, whoever is reading this post, if you have the same mentality then please stop here. If you believe that just like staying away from your family doesn't mean that you don't have any say there, staying away from your country doesn't take your right away to speak up for it, nor to point out the bad part, then proceed.
The flyover crash is a physical thing that bothered me, but it is the tip of the iceberg. It can be seen. There are many other things happening in the city that bothers me a lot as well. The cultural capital of India, Calcutta has been famous for numerous literary giants, musicians, singers, film makers, artists and even actors (both stage and film). Bengalis have been known to be believers of plain living and high thinking. I wouldn't say that we had Spartan lifestyles, but "middle class" Bengalis never saw any reason for spending beyond means. The most important thing they did for their kids was to push them for better education. "Education, education, education" has been the mantra of Bengali parents throughout the ages. A kid was considered "good" or "bad" depending on his performance in academics. Along with that went extra curricular activities that included one or all of singing, dancing and painting for girls and painting or singing for young boys along with sports. Swimming was also encouraged, playing outdoors was a little difficult in the main city, but in the outskirts it was extremely common. Television viewing was restricted and highly discouraged because it was believed to be distracting for studies. "You will forget all that you learned" was a common phrase we all heard if we watched Bollywood songs. Bollywood movies were referred as Hindi cinema and movie songs as Hindi songs in a very derogatory way by our elders.
In our late teenage and early college days, going to movies with friends was a big deal. Shopping malls were coming up but those weren't places to visit. Parks, museums and just normal walks along the crowded streets were common dating places. Dates were confined to eating street side food with the bare minimum allowance we had. Some college students earned meagre incomes by giving tuitions. Our elders disciplined us. That included teachers, relatives and even neighbors. We were spanked by our parents as kids and they saw nothing wrong with it. Actually, it was a big part of parenting. Parents never praised us in public. Actually I have never heard any of my cousins or friends or for that matter any young person being praised by their parents. We were compared to others, our exam scores were compared to our friends, older cousins, parents' friends' kids, kids in the neighborhood. Everyone knew our exam scores and ranks in competitive exams. Parenting experts of the West will be shocked at how our parents still managed to raise sane kids. All my friends from school and college are well settled in their lives and none of them show any traits of not loving their parents and families.
Things have changed now. The people of the city are more concerned over awarding actors from soap operas than they care for any academician. Strikes are common in colleges resulting in brawls. The 1970s also saw strikes in colleges, but those left liberal students were idealists. They were not the political hooligans we see now. Students of nationally famous universities, where it is difficult to get admitted are getting beaten up by political parties. Classes are cancelled, exams postponed. In a situation like this, where is the atmosphere to talk about innovation, research or of the future? Little kids are being encouraged by their parents to take part in "talent search" competitions where they sing and dance to obscenity. In our childhood, talent search competitions were math tests where the top performers got scholarships. Shopping malls are the new places for family time. I have been hearing about DJs coming to Bengali weddings as well! I think I am lucky to not get any invitation for those. Even the clothes seem to have lost the Bengali simplicity. Flashy sequined blouses and weird colored synthetic sarees are not things I can relate with Bengali girls. Nor can I imagine our earlier generation spending their evenings at pubs drinking beer. The book crazy society is dying, so are the cricket lovers at Eden Gardens and the boisterous crowd who took Mohunbagan vs East Bengal matches more seriously than world wars. The crisp cotton saree wearing women, the Rabindrasangeet singers, the old family homes are all getting lost... a culture is slowly crumbling under the pressure of ill bred and uneducated people flocking to Calcutta who, at heart can never be the true residents of the Second City of the British Empire.
